Boners

Boner (Round One) for June 27th, 2017

Boner Candidate #1: BUNNY LOVIN’,TREE HUGGIN’, ROCK LICKERS.

Southern Utah politicians on Monday blamed the Brian Head Fire’s fast pace and destructiveness on environmentalists who, they said, for decades have thwarted logging of trees killed by bark beetles. But the targeted groups contend climate change and excluding fire from the landscape are the real reasons Utah’s national forest are primed for blazes. Without citing a source, Rep. Mike Noel angrily alleged environmentalists would rather see the Dixie National Forest burn than see a single stump. “When we turned the Forest Service over to the bird and bunny lovers and the tree-huggers and the rock-lickers, we turned our history over,” the Kanab Republican said at a news conference in Brian Head.

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Boner Candidate #2: I SAY LET THEM DIE

An Ohio city councilman concerned about the price of emergency services for opioid overdose victims wants to cut costs by denying some people access to life-saving treatment. Last week, Middletown council member Dan Picard asked the city to explore the legality of a proposal to refuse city-dispatched medical services to any overdose victim who has sought an intervention twice before. Some local media outlets have branded the proposal as a “three strikes” policy. “I want to send a message to the world that you don’t want to come to Middletown to overdose because someone might not come with Narcan and save your life,” Picard told Ohio’s Journal-News. “We need to put a fear about overdosing in Middletown.” Narcan is the brandname of naloxone, a drug that reverses the effects of an opioid overdose by essentially blocking the opioid receptors that heroin, fentanyl and other narcotic painkillers target.

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Boner Candidate #3: THAT WAS OUR BEST SIPPY CUP.

An Ohio mother was brutally beaten in a park by a couple who became irate after her child broke their toddler’s sippy cup, according to a report. The unidentified young mother of two was left seriously wounded with a broken jaw following the attack in front of her children earlier this month at Westgate Park in Columbus, WAVY-TV reported. The June 10 confrontation started when one of the woman’s children broke another child’s sippy cup. The mother then apologized to that child’s mom and offered to pay $10 for the broken cup, according to the news outlet. The other mom flew into a rage, saying that $10 was not enough — and to avoid any further confrontation, the victim apologized for a second time and moved away.

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