Boners

Boner (Round One) for June 2nd, 2017

Boner Candidate #1: HE LOVES RIDING ON THE GAS TANK

A Texas man is facing felony charges after riding his motorcycle with his infant son atop its gas tank, authorities said. Anthony Braddick Welsh, 30, is being sought by deputies in Liberty County following the posting of a photo on Facebook on Tuesday by a witness who spotted Welsh driving the motorcycle with the child on a public highway over the Memorial Day weekend, the Houston Chronicle reports. “Deputies have made numerous day and night runs on his reported address in an effort to arrest Welsh but thus far no arrest been made,” Liberty County Sheriff’s Office Capt. Ken DeFoor told the newspaper. The witness was so shocked to see the unsecured child – riding without a helmet no less, like Welsh himself – that he posted the picture on social media. Deputies later found two witnesses who confirmed they saw Welsh riding with the boy near Tarkington Prairie.

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Boner Candidate #2: WAY TO BLEND IN.

A Texas middle school teacher under fire last week for awarding a “most likely to become a terrorist” superlative handed out more than one offensive accolade. Anthony Aguirre Junior High teacher Stacey Lockett reportedly gave seventh-grader Sydney Caesar a controversial certificate that named her “most likely to blend in with white people,” news station KRIV reported. Both Sydney and classmate Lizeth Villanueva — named “most likely to become a terrorist” — were horrified to get the awards in a mock ceremony last week at their school in Channelview, Texas.

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Boner Candidate #3: I ALWAYS HAVE SOME COCONUT WATER IN MY BRIEFCASE.

A New Jersey high school teacher was busted Wednesday for allegedly taking videos and photos up female student’s skirts with a hidden camera. Burlington County Prosecutor’s Office said Eric Howell, 43, hid a camera in a coconut water box that was placed in a side pocket of his briefcase. The chemistry teacher would allegedly then unscrew the water’s cap so the camera could capture up the skirts of girls as he walked with his briefcase in the halls of Lenape High School in Medford, New Jersey. School administrators were notified about Howell’s alleged conduct after he was spotted extending his arm sideways with the briefcase in an attempt to get his camera under a female student’s skirt, according to a press release.

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