Boners

Boner (Round Two) for June 2nd, 2017

Boner Candidate #1: WE HAD A GOOD LIFE.

The mother of six girls a Pennsylvania man is accused of assaulting, fathering two children by one, says she knew about the sexual activity but believed it “could be a good thing.” Fifty-two-year-old Lee Donald Kaplan is on trial in Bucks County on rape and sexual-assault charges. Authorities allege the Feasterville resident was “gifted” the oldest girl because he helped her parents financially. Prosecutors argue he “brainwashed” the family, seeking “power, manipulation and control.”

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Boner Candidate #2: THE ONLY WAY TO GET RID OF HER IS BURN HER OUT.

That’s one way to dump someone. A Mississippi man was arrested after he allegedly burned down his mobile home Saturday to get his girlfriend to leave. Aaron Augustinowicz, 62, was charged with arson for pouring gasoline in his Caledonia residence before setting it on fire, according to The Dispatch. When police arrived on the scene, Augustinowicz admitted that the fire was the only way to send his girlfriend packing.

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Boner Candidate #3: I, FOR ONE, LOVE CANDY CORN.

A North Carolina high school principal apologized on Wednesday after a student’s offensive statement was published in the school’s yearbook. A senior at Panther Creek High School in Wake County submitted a quote to the yearbook committee that read: “I don’t know what’s worse, candy corn or women’s rights,” according to The News & Observer. Many students were outraged that the “sexist” statement was published in the high school memorabilia when they received the yearbooks on Wednesday. Principal Camille Hedrick issued an apology on Twitter later that day, assuring that administratives will look into its editorial review process in the future. “I would like to apologize to our school community for the offensive senior quote that was not caught by the yearbook review process,” Hedrick wrote in the statement.

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