Boner Candidate #1: AS YOUR STUDENT BODY PRESIDENT I WILL PROTECT YOU FROM ISIS
A California high school student sparked controversy last week after he created a campaign video that included people dressed as Muslim terrorists. The unnamed student at San Ramon Valley High School created the video as part of his campaign for student body president, pledging to protect his classmates from ISIS fighters if they were attacked, KNTV reported. The video showed his friends dressed as “terrorists” while holding fake guns. The school district stripped the boy of his title as president, but reinstated it after his parents planned to file a lawsuit, the news station added.
Boner Candidate #2: IT’S GONNA BLOW!
A Florida woman trying to get pregnant by artificial insemination is lashing out against the local sheriff’s department for publicizing her sperm emergency. “I didn’t want any of this,” Port Richey resident Felicia Nevins, 26, told the Tampa Bay Times after police posted details about her fear that a container of sperm and dry ice might explode. Nevins called the Pasco Sheriff’s Office around 6 p.m. Wednesday for help after she forgot to remove the rubber O-ring from the stainless steel container holding two vials of sperm, as the directions said to do. A deputy and firefighters arrived at her home and safely opened the container without incident.
Boner Candidate #3: THEY WERE LIBERAL TRENDIES
Alex Jones, head of the conspiracy-theory-laden website Infowars, seemed to criticize the victims of the horrific attack in Manchester, England, that left 22 people dead, including children as young as 8 years old. The Islamic State militant group, also known as ISIS, has claimed responsibility for the apparent suicide bombing outside of Manchester Arena. Jones related the attack to President Donald Trump’s recent visit to Saudi Arabia. “And less than 24 hours after President Trump finishes that speech, a big bomb goes off at a pop star’s rock concert bombing a bunch of liberal trendies,” Jones said in a video posted to YouTube. “The same people, god love ’em, on average who are promoting open borders, bringing Islamists in.”
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