Boner Candidate #1: I AM A NEIGHBORHOOD PIONEER
A white lady running for the Village Board in Southampton, Long Island, has determined it’s okay for her to use the n-word with reckless abandon because, as she told the Southampton Press, she’s a “pioneer” in the neighborhood. Jesus god almighty, okay, let’s break this mess down. The paper reports that last summer, Valerie Smith called the police to complain about a group of black men allegedly standing in front of her house. Only she didn’t say “black men:” The call, made at 6:17 p.m. on August 5, 2016, from her residence on Windward Way, included Ms. Smith reporting that there were “a bunch of niggers” standing in front of her house, drinking “Hennessy.” She asked to have a police officer sent to her street to get them away from her house.
Boner Candidate #2: GENTLEMEN YOU ARE OVER THE LIMIT
Houston County authorities on Saturday charged two Clarksville, Tenn. men with several wildlife violations after they were found in possession of more than 40 fish, which was well beyond the legal limit. The two men, Mark Steven Jones, 35, and Robert Earl Wilridge, 28, were each charged with three counts of over the creel limit of bass, illegal possession of wildlifeand not having a life jacket. Bond for both men was set at $1,500 Tennessee Wildlife Resources Officer Nick Luper said the two had 35 smallmouth bass, three largemouth bass, two red-eye bass and two channel catfish in a cooler in their canoe.
Boner Candidate #3: WHAT? DO PEOPLE THINK BEFORE THEY TWEET?
Takuma Sato’s Indy 500 victory prompted a Denver sportswriter to send an insensitive tweet. The Denver Post on Monday said a sportswriter was no longer an employee of the paper after he tweeted his discomfort with a Japanese driver winning the Indianapolis500 during Memorial Day weekend. On Sunday Takuma Sato became the first driver from Japan to win the iconic race, prompting Terry Frei to dispatch this controversial missive:
