Boners

Boner (Round One) for May 31st, 2017

Boner Candidate #1: GLENN DANZIG: POET AND POLITICAL THEORIST.

Here is something that you didn’t know you needed when you woke up this morning: 61-year-old metal god Glenn Danzig has weighed in on a popular but unfounded Planned Parenthood conspiracy theory. Via a recent L.A. Times profile, Danzig says: I might be conservative on some issues, and some issues I’m really liberal… I’m pro-abortion and I’m pro-Planned Parenthood. But I don’t think Planned Parenthood should be selling baby parts like a chop shop in Brooklyn, OK? This is a somewhat surprising position to take from the man who wrote and sang the words: “Hot cherry on Friday night / When the sun goes down my spine / I put an axe in my baby’s head / I’m gonna end up doing time.”

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Boner Candidate #2: IF SHE DOESN’T PLAY WE DON’T WIN

The parents of a 16-year-old girl who was filmed urinating in a bathroom stall say officials at a California high school aren’t doing enough to punish the perpetrator who received a three-day suspension after she admitted to posting the video on social media. The 17-year-old girl, a star athlete at San Ramon Valley High School in Danville, was arrested but allowed to return to school the next day, remain on her team and participate in a championship game, The East Bay Times reported. The victim’s mom, Denise Lynch, accused school district officials of failing to properly respond to the incident by allowing the girl stay in the school. She said her daughter’s grades dropped and that she is suffering emotionally by having to face her tormentor at school.

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Boner Candidate #3: DAMN KIDS…HAVING FUN AND MAKING NOISE.

A Port St. Lucie mother is peeved after a neighbor’s actions landed two children in the hospital. Deborah Romero threw a party for her daughter when all of the sudden the bounce house deflated, reports CBS 12. Nearly a dozen 2-3-year-olds were trapped inside under the hot and heavy plastic. She recalled that one child had to be pulled out by his leg. Of the two hospital-bound children, one was treated for distress while the other was checked for injuries. “We were very nervous about the kids because it was extremely hot, and they were trapped inside the bounce house,” she said.

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