Boner of the Day

Boner (Round One) for November 2nd, 2017

Boner Candidate #1: YOU CAN’T SAY THOSE THINGS IN MOAB WITH OUT CONSEQUENCES.

Comments and activities in a workshop led by an LGBTQ activist drew anger from parents after a presentation in September at Grand County High School. But a representative of Moab Pride, the group that organized the event, says the presentation was mischaracterized. Regie Cabico, a nationally-acclaimed professional poet from Washington, D.C., led a presentation on inclusiveness during English classes at the school in September, according to Moab Pride organizer Cali Bulmash, who said she was in the classroom during the presentation. At one point during the presentation, Cabico said, “I am Trump’s worst nightmare,” according to Bulmash.  The Trump comment was given as an example during an “off the cuff” exercise in which Cabico was challenging students to describe themselves in hyperbole, Bulmash said. The comment wasn’t meant to be taken literally, she said. Cabico also asked the students to silently arrange themselves in order of their sexual identity during an exercise designed “to get kids to think critically about their identity, think about identity markers for themselves,” Bulmash said.

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Boner Candidate #2: I’M DRUNK. THIS IS A JOKE. DON’T TELL ANYONE

Logan police are investigating what they’re calling a “bizarre” home invasion. Around 9:30 p.m. on Tuesday, police were called out to an apartment near 800 North and 600 East. A woman was home alone and told dispatchers a man walked in the unlocked front door and made his way into a bedroom, where the Utah State University student was studying. “She wasn’t sure who he was, “said Ashley Leishman, one of the victim’s roommates. “She wondered if he was there to fix something. She said, ‘Can I help you?'” Leishman was at work when the strange encounter happened, but she said the victim told her the man forced her into a corner. “She kinda let out a scream and he covered her mouth with his hand and then held a gun to her forehead with the other hand,” she said. “Then he leaned forward and kissed her forehead, which is kind of bizarre.” Even stranger where his parting words. “He just said, ‘I’m drunk. This is a joke. Do not tell anybody about this.’ And just stormed out,” Leishman said.

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Boner Candidate #3: BYE BYE JAMAICAN BARBIE

A student at the University of Hartford in Connecticut was charged with criminal mischief and expelled from school after boasting about having contaminated her roommate’s toothbrush, face lotion and other belongings in an effort to drive her from the room. The student, Brianna Brochu, 18, was in court on Wednesday for charges that originated with an Instagram post in which she said that she had finally accomplished what had apparently been a long-held goal: ridding herself of her dorm roommate, Chennel Rowe, whom she referred to as “Jamaican Barbie.”

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