Boners

Boner (Round One) for November 7th, 2017

Boner Candidate #1: HE ASKED FOR A K9 ATTORNEY, SO GIVE HIM ONE.

Warren Demesme seemingly asked for a lawyer while being interviewed by police, but his use of slang negated that request, Louisiana courts say. (Orleans Parish Sheriff’s Office) When a friend says, “I’ll hit you up later dog,” he is stating that he will call again sometime. He is not calling the person a “later dog.” But that’s not how the courts in Louisiana see it. And when a suspect in an interrogation told detectives to “just give me a lawyer dog,” the Louisiana Supreme Court ruled that the suspect was, in fact, asking for a “lawyer dog,” and not invoking his constitutional right to counsel. It’s not clear how many lawyer dogs there are in Louisiana, and whether any would have been available to represent the human suspect in this case, other than to give the standard admonition in such circumstances to simply stop talking. The ruling by Louisiana’s high court could have serious implications for a suspect charged with raping a juvenile, because it will allow his subsequent incriminating statements into evidence at his trial, which is pending. And it clarified that requesting a canine attorney need not cause the police to stop questioning someone.

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Boner Candidate #2: WHO NEEDS COFFEE?

A woman who told officers she occasionally smoked meth to “stay awake” was arrested for drug paraphernalia possession after being pulled over for a faulty tail light. According to an arrest report from the Niceville Police Department, on Oct. 18 an officer travelling eastbound on State Road 20 observed a car with a “white light emitting from the passenger tail light.” The officer stopped the vehicle and asked the driver if he could search it, to which she provided consent. Inside the woman’s Michael Kors purse, the officer found a glass methamphetamine pipe belonging to the driver. The woman told the officer she used the pipe occasionally to smoke meth “to help her stay awake.”

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Boner Candidate #3: LET’S SPREAD THE WORD!

The University of Utah Office for Equity and Diversity issued a statement regarding the posting of flyers that read, “It’s Okay to Be White” around campus. The posters, printed on blank white paper with one sentence on them, appear to be referencing an idea that originated online, then spread throughout the country. In a statement released on Monday, the University of Utah said:

“Three posters that state, “It’s Okay to Be White,” were found on our campus yesterday afternoon; more have emerged today, in various locations. This appears to be part of a nationwide campaign with the purpose to create division throughout our campus community. If, indeed, these tactics are meant to silence our work in diversity and inclusion, please know we shall not be deterred. We will continue to engage our campus in critical discussions and work together to enact real change.”

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