Boners

Boner (Round One) for October 3rd, 2017

Boner Candidate #1: COME ON PAT. IT’S TIME TO TAKE A LONG NAP.

Pat Robertson, the famed televangelist from the long-running 700 Club show, claimed on Monday in the aftermath of the Las Vegas attack that the deadliest mass shooting in American history was caused by people disrespecting the president and the flag. As pointed out by Hemant Mehta at Patheos’ “The Friendly Atheist” column, Robertson said “violence in the streets” could be explained by a lack of “controlling” and “biblical” authority in the United States. “Why is it happening?” Robertson asked his audience. “The fact that we have disrespect for authority; there is profound disrespect for our president, all across this nation they say terrible things about him. It’s in the news, it’s in other places. There is disrespect now for our national anthem, disrespect for our veterans, disrespect for the institutions of our government, disrespect for the court system. All the way up and down the line, disrespect.”

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Boner Candidate #2: TIE A COUPLE OF POPSICLE STICKS TO IT AND WAIT FOR THE SWELLING TO GO DOWN.

A disgraced former plastic surgeon in Florida, who already spent two years behind bars for illegally operating on four women, is headed back to prison for botched butt and penis surgeries. Mark Schreiber, whose troubling medical record in south Florida dates back to 1998, agreed to spend 44 months in prison for two counts of practicing medicine without a license, according to a plea deal made last week. The 62-year-old former physician will also be ordered to pay $145,000 in restitution for the faulty butt implant once he’s released from custody, the Miami Herald reports.

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Boner Candidate #3: BUILD THE WALL. BUILD THE WALL.

Some students at Woods Cross High brought political discourse to a football game, and not everyone is cheering about it. Students are seen in a 10 second video clip chanting, “Build a wall” during Friday night’s football game at Woods Cross High. A cutout of President Trump can also be seen in the crowd. Ayelen Almada, a former Woods Cross High student, was at the game with her 16 year-old sister and a friend. She asked them to stop. Almada asked, “Would it be OK if you guys didn’t hold it up, it just makes us uncomfortable. And they’re like sure,” she said. But minutes later, they started back up.

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