Boners

Boner (Round One) for September 5th, 2017

Boner Candidate #1: SEEMS LIKE A REASONABLE RESPONSE.

A wife cut off her violent husband’s penis as he slept, because he was spending too much time playing golf, it is alleged. Neighbours in the city of Yeosu, in South Korea, heard loud groaning as the 54-year-old was in pain. The woman is claimed to have flushed the organ down the toilet. When a neighbour went into the couple’s flat to investigate, he found the man lying on the floor in agony, The Jeju Weekly reports.

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Boner Candidate #2: KIDS CANT DO ANYTHING FOR THEMSELVES THESE DAYS

Devbir Kalsi, 33, and his parents Bhupinder Kalsi, 61, and Jasbir Kalsi, 67, were arrested for assaulting Devbir’s wife, Silky Gaind, 33, Saturday, in Riverview, Fla.  (The Hillsborough County Sheriff’s Office) Florida police rescued an Indian woman Saturday who was beaten by her husband and his parents who traveled from India to help assist him with the assault. The Hillsborough County Sheriff’s Office said Silky Gaind, 33, called her parents in India to tell them of the abuse. They then called the authorities. Police said Gaind was being held in the Riverview home by her husband Devbir Kalsi, 33, and his parents Jasbir, 67, and Bhupinder Kalsi, 61, who traveled from India to help their son “counsel and discipline his wife for being disobedient” after he asked for their assistance, according to Fox 13.

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Boner Candidate #3: NOBODY ASKED

Joel Osteen blamed the city of Houston on Wednesday for not immediately designating his megachurch as a shelter — as he denied rampant allegations that it was shuttered to Tropical Storm Harvey victims. The toothy multimillionaire televangelist was all smiles on CBS “This Morning” as he explained how the city instead asked Lakewood Church to be a “distribution center.” “The city runs the shelters. They asked for a distribution center. We could’ve been a shelter from Day One if they needed that,” Osteen said. “Somebody created a notion that, you know what, we’re not open in time but they’re not sitting here seeing that the mayor is saying don’t stay on the streets, don’t get on the streets, that this building is a safety issue,” he added.

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