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Boner Candidate #1: A VIOLENT PORK CHOP DINNER

 

Boner Candidate #2: A PERFECT CANDIDATE FOR THE NFL

Florida Gators star defensive lineman Caleb Brantley was reportedly involved in an altercation with a woman, Chelsea Austin, and allegedly punched her during that fight.

“Brantley, according to police, was involved in a fight with a woman in the 1700 Block of W University Ave, outside the Copper Monkey at around 2 a.m. The altercation spilled over into the roadway, police say,” per Ryan Bass of WPST.com. “The police report states that Chelsea Austin, 20, claims a man, who was later identified as Brantley by Austin’s friend, punched her in the face during the fight. Austin had a cut on her lip and blood around her tooth, according to the police report. Austin, however, could not identify who hit her.”

Austin also confirmed that she struck Brantley in the face first after she says he “disrespected her,” sparking the fight.

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Boner Candidate #3: WE’LL TRY ANYTHING TO GET YOU TO GIVE UP YOUR SEAT

After spending two weeks on vacation in Mexico, Richard and Linda Bell were on a United Airlines flight home from Houston to Calgary on Sunday. They thought their adventure was over — until a scorpion fell from the overhead compartment and on to Richard. They didn’t immediately recognize the honey-colored, 1.5-inch animal until a passenger sitting next to them pointed out that it was probably a scorpion. Richard took the scorpion from his hair and dropped it onto his tray. When he picked it up again, the animal stung him. Bell told Global News Canada that it “felt like a wasp sting.” Another passenger took the scorpion, stomped it on the ground and then threw the remains in the toilet.

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