Boners

Boner (Round Two) for April 6th, 2017

Boner Candidate #1: BUT, WHICH GOD?

Tennessee lawmakers are considering legislation to amend the state constitution to say that God is the source of liberties for the state’s citizens. The House Civil Justice Subcommittee voted Wednesday to advance the measure sponsored by Republican Rep. Micah Van Huss of Jonesborough. The bill failed in the same subcommittee last month. But the panel agreed to a motion to reconsider it. The proposed addition to the Tennessee Constitution would read: “We recognize that our liberties do not come from governments, but from almighty God.” Amending the Tennessee constitution is a lengthy process. Proposed changes must pass by a majority during one two-year General Assembly, and then pass by at least two-thirds in the next, and then be approved by voters in a gubernatorial election year.

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Boner Candidate #2: MY NAILS WERE A MESS

A Texas mother allegedly left her two young children inside a hot car that reached 100 degrees so she could get her nails done at a local Walmart — and shoplift, police said. Raquel Perez, 26, spent more than an hour inside the superstore’s nail salon in south Austin as her two children – ages 3 and 1 – sat in her car on May 5, according to an arrest warrant affidavit filed Wednesday. “Both children were very hot, sweaty and dirty,” read the affidavit, which was obtained by the Austin American-Statesman. “The doors of the vehicle were locked. The windows of the vehicle were rolled down approximately an inch and the witnesses could not reach into the car to unlock the door.” One of several witnesses in the store’s parking lot managed to show the older child how to unlock the door and then took them inside to the store’s security office, KXAN reports.  The temperature inside the vehicle was recorded at 100 degrees when emergency responders finally got to the car, despite its door being open for several minutes. Temperatures in Austin that day reached 89 degrees, according to the National Weather Service. Perez was identified as the mother of the children when she went into the store searching for them. She claimed to have left them inside because they were sleeping, KVUE reports. Perez, according to surveillance cameras, parked at the store at about 12:45 p.m. before entering the store. She exited about 10 minutes later, only to return to the store and visit its nail salon. Perez then left the salon at about 2:05 p.m. and began walking around to shoplift, cops said.

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Boner Candidate #3: JUST MOVE ON

A Missouri girl who reported being raped by her boyfriend told a detective that her high school principal threatened them with in-school suspension to “get them to stop saying things about each other,” according to police. Richard Thomas, 37, of Jackson, was charged Monday with a misdemeanor count of failure to report abuse, neglect or death of a child younger than 18, The Southeast Missourian reported. School administrators are required by law to report suspicions of child abuse. Thomas didn’t return a phone message from The Associated Press on Wednesday, and no attorney is listed for him in online court records. He has been on paid administrative leave from the Perry County School District since September. The school board voted in December not to retain him as principal when his contract expires this summer. A police detective wrote in a probable cause statement that the girl told police on Aug. 30 that she had been raped by her boyfriend, also a student. The girl said she told Thomas about the alleged assault the previous week, and that in two separate discussions told Thomas the alleged perpetrator “did something to me I didn’t want to happen,” according to the detective’s statement.  The girl said after going to police, she was summoned on Sept. 8 to an empty classroom. She said she was told to sit at one desk while Thomas and the alleged perpetrator sat facing her, the detective reported. The girl said Thomas asked her “question after question but interrupted her when she tried to answer and would not let her talk.” The girl said Thomas told her if she was placed in in-school suspension, “she would no longer have a boyfriend because she would not be able to see him,” the detective wrote. The male student told police that Thomas advised him and the girl to “stop with all the rape talk and just move on,” the probable cause statement said. The mother of the alleged perpetrator told police she, too, spoke with Thomas about the allegations against her son the week before the girl contacted police and again on Sept. 8, the detective wrote.

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