Boners

Boner (Round Two) for July 11th, 2017

Boner Candidate #1: CAN’T A MAN TAKE HIS PET OUT FOR A WALK?

RUSSIA — An owner of a giant crocodile has been arrested after he took it to the beach for a walk. The reptile was kept on a leash, like a dog, as he walked it in shallow water on a beach in Anapa in Russia. He was spotted taking the animal, which he called his pet, to the beach where children played by the shore. Despite the species’ fearsome reputation and links to hundreds of potentially dangerous attacks each year, it showed no sign of aggression. During the video, shot on a smartphone, one small girl is spotted fleeing the scene out of fear.

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Boner Candidate #2: THIS COULD BE A DRAIN ON THE COUNTY BUDGET

“It made me sick to my stomach,” said attorney Glenn Valdez, who saw the video for the first time Monday. “I’m watching somebody die right in front of my eyes.” Edminsten suffered for seven hours, and at some points he appeared to be unconscious. The other inmates were so scared for him that they read Bible passages and even formed a prayer circle. “We know the inmates and everyone else were trying to get help, but nothing happened,” Valdez said. “He couldn’t call himself or do anything that we take for granted. So without the guards to call, he’s dead.” An autopsy later revealed Edminsten had a ruptured blood vessel in his stomach that later led to his death. His abdomen was full of blood. Had jail guards taken him to a doctor when he first complained of the pain, it’s believed he would have had an 80 percent chance of living. Valdez said the prison may have had an incentive not to help him.

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Boner Candidate #3: WHEN A JUGGALO REQUESTS A SONG YOU DAMN WELL BETTER PLAY IT.

An ax-wielding man was taken into custody Monday afternoon following a three-hour standoff with police outside a radio station in Medford. Video from Sky7 showed a red sedan surrounded by several cruisers and armored vehicles outside the Kiss 108 studios on Cabot Road. Witnesses and station employees told 7News that the man, with an axe in hand, requested the song “My Axe” by Insane Clown Posse to be played on the radio. The man then grew angry when police arrived, sparking a tense situation. At one point, police said they used a stun gun on the man but when that was unsuccessful, he jumped into his car and tried to drive away. Police at the scene had guns drawn as they negotiated with the man, who refused to leave his locked car. Police said the man tossed several sharp-edged items from the car during the standoff. Some witnesses said the man was drinking and yelling loudly as the situation unfolded.

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