Boner of the Day

Boner (Round Two) for June 14th, 2017

Boner Candidate #1: I TOLD HIM NOT TO GO OUTSIDE

A 2-year-old child was found shivering cold without shoes and socks and police say his father was passed out on the couch at a nearby apartment. Kootenai County Sheriff deputies were called to the 8600 block of Government Way around 7:30 a.m. Saturday for a report of a boy, dressed only in pajamas, walking along the road, EastIdahoNews.com reported. Deputies say he had “a dirty face, was shivering, cold to the touch, and not wearing socks or shoes in the 47 degree temperatures,” according to a Kootenai County Sheriff’s Office news release. The child had attempted to cross the street to see construction equipment that he described as “Tonka Trucks.”

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Boner Candidate #2: MY PROSTATE MADE ME DO IT.

This Wednesday, we will hear the sentencing of disgraced pastor Jack Schaap, who has pleaded guilty to having sex with an underage girl who attended his church. This is the next chapter in the story of the First Baptist Church in Hammond, Indiana, an organization Chicago magazine has been following since a feature in the January 2013 issue. In this trial, Schaap began by claiming, in effect, that his prostate made him do it, as part of an attempt to lighten his 10-year minimum prison sentence. But his excuses riled federal prosecutors, who countered by filing a 23-page response that revealed previously withheld details of the disgraced 55-year-old pastor’s actions. This memorandum will be instrumental in determining the pastor’s sentence. A look through its contents reveals plenty of cringe-inducing behaviors.

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Boner Candidate #3: HAPPY BIRTHDAY HONEY

A Pennsylvania father has been sentenced to a maximum of four years in state prison after his 13-year-old daughter was hospitalized after drinking 17 shots of vodka. Charles Younger had previously pleaded guilty to child endangerment. The 39-year-old was sentenced Monday. The girl’s mother also had pleaded guilty to the charge. Michelle Edwards was sentenced to up to 23 months in Lehigh County Jail last week. Police say the parents provided their daughter and another 15-year-old girl with liquor for the daughter’s 13th birthday in January.

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