Boner of the Day

Boner (Round Two) for June 16th, 2017

Boner Candidate #1: I WANT US TO DIE TOGETHER.

A venomous snake bit a man as he slept in India. When he awoke, he realized he wouldn’t survive for long, and bit his wife’s arm in an attempt to spread the venom so they could die together. According to Gulf News, the incident happened Saturday in Birsingpur, a village in the Samastipur district. Shankar Rai went up to his wife, Amiri Devi, and bit her wrist, telling her he loved her and wanted them to pass away together so they could remain united in death, India Today reported.

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Boner Candidate #2: ALEX JONES TALKS ABOUT BULLETS FOR BLITZER

Right-wing conspiracy fanatic Alex Jones isn’t toning down his rhetoric ahead of his controversial interview Sunday on Megyn Kelly’s show on NBC. He talked Thursday about someone putting bullets in CNN journalist Wolf Blitzer’s head, and warned that others “better have some helicopter jump jets” to escape violence in “Civil War 2.” The ominous speech isn’t likely to calm critics or remaining commercial sponsors of Kelly’s program. The bombastic Jones attacked Blitzer, and later in the day threatened to publish extra footage of his interview with Kelly to expose “fake news.” On his Infowars program Thursday, Jones criticized Blitzer for his purported stance on James Hodgkinson, the shooter who opened fire Wednesday at a congressional GOP baseball game, critically wounding House Majority Whip Steve Scalise (R-La.) and injuring others. Blitzer, claimed Jones, said Hodgkinson “wasn’t a monster.” In fact, Blitzer didn’t say that; an acquaintance of Hodgkinson said in an interview he “wasn’t evil.” Blitzer took no position.

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Boner Candidate #3: BREATHARIAN IS JUST ANOTHER WORD FOR LIAR.

A “Breatharian” mom and dad of two have barely eaten for nine years as they live off “the universe’s energy.” Husband and wife Akahi Ricardo and Camila Castello believe that food and water aren’t necessary and humans can be sustained solely by the energy of the universe. Camila and Akahi — who have a 5-year-old son and 2-year-old daughter together — have survived on little else besides a piece of fruit or vegetable broth just three times per week since 2008. And Castello even practiced a Breatharian pregnancy — not eating anything during the entire nine months that she carried her first child.

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