Boner of the Day

Boner (Round Two) for November 10th, 2017

Boner Candidate #1: WAIT! WHAT? WHERE DID THAT COME FROM?

Authorities say a man who was in court for violating his bond on a drug charge is in even more trouble after a wad of cocaine fell from his hat while he was in front of the judge. The Vail Daily reported Wednesday that 43-year-old Juan Jose Vidrio Bibriesca was standing next to two other defendants at an Eagle County District Court podium when he took his hat off and a square of folded paper fell out. A police officer watched the paper filled with cocaine fall to the floor, and after reviewing surveillance footage, authorities determined it fell from Bibriesca’s hat. Bibriesca was then walked to the county jail. He was charged with narcotics possession and another bond violation.

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Boner Candidate #2: THE VIRGIN MARY WAS A TEENAGER.

While some Republicans at the national level spoke out against Alabama Senate candidate Roy Moore on Thursday in the wake of allegations that he initiated sexual contact with a 14-year-old when he was in his 30s, Republicans from his own state seemed to have a different view — with one citing Jesus’ parents to defend Moore’s alleged behavior. “Take Joseph and Mary. Mary was a teenager and Joseph was an adult carpenter. They became parents of Jesus,” Alabama state auditor Jim Ziegler told the Washington Examiner on Thursday. Four women have told the Washington Post that Moore pursued relationships with them when they were teenagers and he was an adult. The women were between the ages of 14 and 18, while Moore was in his 30s at the time, according to the Post.

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Boner Candidate #3: WHAT ABOUT THE DRIED BLOOD AND THE BLEACH?

A Florida couple reportedly shot themselves while staging a home invasion in a bid to collect insurance money, officials said. Lindsey Pelton, 36, and Doug Teixeira, 35, reported to authorities Oct. 26 that two men broke into their Deltona home and shot them, the Daytona Beach News-Journal reported. Officers arrived to find the married couple had suffered gunshot wounds and were claiming that $7,000 was taken from a safe. “Their story was that two guys entered the house and one shot her in the arm and when he came out he was shot in the leg but we were able to determine no one broke into their home,” Sheriff’s Deputy Mike Chitwood told the News-Journal.

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