Boner Candidate #1: NEED A RAG TO WIPE THAT OFF?
An Oklahoma motorist was covered in Vaseline and wearing only a thong bikini when a patrolman pulled over his vehicle for speeding, according to a court filing which notes that a porno magazine was atop the passenger seat. After initiating a vehicle stop last Sunday afternoon in Enid, a Garfield County Sheriff’s Office deputy approached the car and spotted “a nearly naked white male driver” behind the wheel. The driver, John Wayne Kellerman, 54, “had a bikini thong covering his genitals” and had Vaseline “covering his hands, upper and lower body parts,” noted Deputy Darryl Beebe. The cop also reported observing an “opened jar of Vaseline that was nearly empty” and a “pornographic magazine in the passenger seat.”
Boner Candidate #2: GOBSMAKED SWIMMERS DOWN UNDER
Authorities in Australia say they’re “gobsmacked” by the sheer stupidity of a group of men seen swimming to a crocodile trap in Queensland—and getting inside with the bait. The men were spotted getting into the mouth of the trap at the Port Douglas marina, close to where a crocodile is suspected of killing an elderly dementia patient earlier this month, reports the Guardian. “This is incredibly stupid and dangerous behavior,” says Julia Leu, a local mayor. “I’m wondering if these fellows are vying for the idiots of the year award or the idiots of the century award.” “Srsly? The meat we put in these traps is bait. For crocodiles. Don’t swim in them! It’s stupid, and illegal,” tweeted Queensland Environment Minister Steven Miles. “I’ve seen some pretty ridiculous things in my time as environment minister, particularly when it comes to crocodiles, but this one takes the cake,” he told reporters.
Boner Candidate #3: IT WAS FOR HEALTH CLASS.
A substitute teacher was let go from a Michigan school district after inadvertently giving sixth-grade students an X-rated lesson, according to reports. Saginaw Public School District officials said that the male substitute plugged in his laptop — only for pornography and other inappropriate images to flash on the electronic whiteboard during class at the Loomis Academy. Students were exposed to a video of a man and woman engaged in a sex act and another of a woman twerking, MLive reported. The teacher was removed from the classroom after a student reported the Oct. 18 incident. He was also banned from working in the district.
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