Boner of the Day

Boner (Round Two) for October 27th, 2017

Boner Candidate #1: MY BACK HAS BEEN HURT AND I’M SUING

A 54-year-old Florida woman was arrested Sunday after she was caught stealing cement pavers from a home in Port Richey. Deputies arrested Julie Ann Upright just after 5 p.m. on Woodbridge Court, when he found 42 cement decorative blocks, worth $420, in her vehicle. The homeowner told detectives that he caught her taking the blocks without permission. They were part of a remodeling project and were stored in the front yard, about 4 feet from the roadway, the owner said. Upright said she thought they were trash. Deputies said she then threatened to sue the owner because she hurt her back on his property while loading the blocks into her vehicle.

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Boner Candidate #2: THEY DON’T TREAT ANIMALS LIKE THAT

Shocking surveillance video shows the moment a Pittsburgh woman was knocked out cold by a man on a busy sidewalk — but that’s not the worst of it. The footage also shows the woman being beaten and robbed by bystanders — who proceed to take pictures of her, including selfies — as she lay unconscious on the ground. “They don’t treat animals like that. They wouldn’t treat a dog that way,” the victim’s mother told KDKA on Thursday. “It’s disgusting. My daughter needs help.” The disturbing incident was caught on camera in the Pittsburgh neighborhood Beechview. The footage was captured more than a month ago, but wasn’t released until this week.

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Boner Candidate #3: ALL THE KIDS CAME OUT LOOKING LIKE DR. CLINE.

A former fertility doctor in Indiana accused of using his own sperm to impregnate patients plans to plead guilty to two charges of obstruction of justice. Donald Cline, 78, allegedly fathered at least 25 children via sperm donation while he was a fertility doctor, Fox 59 reported, citing Cline’s biological children who were connected through DNA testing and the website 23andme. Cline’s attorneys on Tuesday said the former doctor will admit that he lied to state investigators about inseminating the patients with his own sperm. Paternity tests indicate Cline is likely the biological father of at least two of his patients’ children, according to court records.

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