Boner Candidate #1: OH WAITER! MY STEAK IS MOVING
Something tells me that isn’t well done. Australian woman Stella Kim and her partner Sushil Lamichhane decided to eat at the Ranch Hotel on Sydney’s north shore. But that quickly turned out to be a bad move as the couple discovered live maggots wriggling out and around their steak dinner. Here’s what Kim had to say about this disgusting ordeal. “(I) just couldn’t believe if this was real. It was horrible, unbelievable. Maggots were crawling over and there was a lot of them. It was like a rotten carcass…For a few days we just lost our appetite. It is very hard for me to even [talk about it] now.” It didn’t take long for the Ranch Hotel to admit that one of their steaks obviously had an issue, but they instead said that they “serve 262 steaks a day,” and that their “investigation concluded that the incident was due to blowfly larva laid after the meal was cooked, as it is not possible for lava to survive the cooking process.”
Boner Candidate #2: I AM MOSTLY PRO LIFE
A text message sent in January to U.S. Rep. Tim Murphy by a woman with whom he had an extra-marital relationship took him to task for an anti-abortion statement posted on Facebook from his office’s public account. “And you have zero issue posting your pro-life stance all over the place when you had no issue asking me to abort our unborn child just last week when we thought that was one of the options,” Shannon Edwards, a forensic psychologist in Pittsburgh with whom the congressman admitted last month to having a relationship, wrote to Mr. Murphy on Jan. 25, in the midst of an unfounded pregnancy scare. A text from Mr. Murphy’s cell phone number that same day in response says, “I get what you say about my March for life messages. I’ve never written them. Staff does them. I read them and winced. I told staff don’t write any more. I will.”
Boner Candidate #3: WE SUPPORT JACK DANIELS, NOT ISIS.
A whiskey lover was mistaken for a terrorist when someone thought his Jack Daniel’s flag was an ISIS banner. He received a letter from neighbors asking “should we be concerned?” when he hoisted the bourbon logo outside his house in Zurich, Switzerland. “I hung it up, because I found it funny,” said the man, who wished to remain anonymous. But the joke was lost on others who thought the Tennessee distiller’s logo was an ISIS flag. The 29-year-old received a letter last Saturday signed “concerned neighbors” which asked why he had put the “black flag of death” outside his house. “I was completely flabbergasted when I read it”, he said. “I talked to the neighbors but no-one knows anything about it.
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