Boners

Boner (Rounds One and Two) for July 20th, 2018

Round One

Boner Candidate #1: I WAS JUST RIDE SHARING.

MEMPHIS, TN (WCMH) – A man’s solution on how to handle having two dates with two women on the same night ended up with him getting a ticket to jail. Kelton Griffin showed up to his first date’s home around 3:00 in the afternoon to go out with her, a police report states. The woman asked Griffin to drive her car because “she did not know where he wanted to take her.” After driving for a bit, the woman says Griffin pulled into the parking lot of a store and asked her to go inside and buy him some cigars. She agreed. While she was in the store, police say Griffin drove off in her car. She tried to call him, but he blocked her number and blocked her on social media, NBC4 sister station WATN-TV reports. She then contacted her family to let them know what happened. Moments later, she got a text from her godsister. The godsister said Griffin had asked her out on a date, and he was on the way to pick her up at her grandmother’s house. Police say the first date got a ride to the grandmother’s house to try to stop Griffin, but he was able to drive off with the godsister before date number one could get there.

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Boner Candidate #2: I WANTED TO MAKE SURE MY CO-WORKERS WERE SAFE.

A Nashville woman said she made a shocking discovery in her own home earlier this year: A baby monitor hidden under her bed. Her co-worker Christopher Neel, 35, was arrested in connection with the incident on Wednesday, accused of wiretapping and aggravated burglary. Morgan Conley said in the affidavit that she discovered the baby monitor transmitter under her bed on Feb. 17. When Conley found the monitor, she wasn’t sure who was responsible, but said she suspected Neel. Conley learned at work that two other co-workers found baby monitors under their beds, the affidavit said. On March 29, all three co-workers confronted Neel in a conversation they recorded at Conley’s home. “Neel admitted to Ms. Conley that he did in fact place the baby monitor underneath her bed, while no one was there,” the affidavit said about the recording.

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Boner Candidate #3: NOW HOW DID YOU FIND ME AGAIN?

SHREVEPORT, La. — A robbery suspect used a stolen cellphone to snap a selfie and, in the process, gave authorities his identity. That’s according to police in Shreveport, Louisiana. The Shreveport Times reports the victim of a July 10 robbery told police he was held up at gunpoint as he exited his car. The victim said he surrendered cash and two cellphones, and the robber fled. Three days later, the victim told police the suspect had taken photos of himself that automatically uploaded to the victim’s cloud. The victim retrieved the photos, which investigators then released to the public. Two days later, a tipster gave a suspect’s identity via Shreveport Caddo Crime Stoppers. Police say 27-year-old Tommy Lee Beverly Jr. is now being sought on an armed robbery charge.

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Round Two

Boner Candidate #1: BRETHREN DWELLING TOGETHER IN UNITY.

The coast of White Rock, British Columbia, in western Canada looks to be an ideal place for a run, with its sweeping views of the Semiahmoo Bay to the west and scores of waterfront homes and seafood restaurants to the east. That’s what 19-year-old Cedella Roman thought when she went jogging along the area’s smooth beaches — in a southbound direction, notably — on May 21. Roman, who lives in France, had been visiting her mother in nearby North Delta, British Columbia. During Roman’s run, she was admiring the scenery when she unwittingly crossed the border from Canada into the United States, Roman told the Canadian Broadcasting Corp. The demarcation line between the two countries, it turns out, is only about three miles down the coast from White Rock’s popular wooden pier. Roman told CBC News she hadn’t seen any signs indicating she was about to cross into the United States but that two U.S. Customs and Border Protection officers approached her shortly after she accidentally left Canada.

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Boner Candidate #2: YOU ARE OFF THE TEAM PAL.

A star wrestler in California lost his college scholarship after a video surfaced of him making an anti-gay slur at an immigration protest, according to reports. Bronson Harmon, 18, was set to attend California Polytechnic State University in San Luis Obispo but had his wrestling scholarship revoked, the San Luis Obispo Tribune reported. The decision comes after Harmon was reportedly caught on video flipping someone off and making a homophobic remark during a counter-protest to the Families Belong Together March held June 30 in Modesto. “F–k you f—-t,” the recent high school graduate was allegedly heard saying while carrying a “Donald Trump 2016” sign. Following the protest, a man also filed a police report claiming that the teen, his father and a friend shoved him into a tree. No one has been charged in the incident, according to police.

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Boner Candidate #3: WELL, YOU WEREN’T WANTED FOR A CRIME UNTIL NOW.

Ask and you shall receive. A Louisiana man was arrested Monday after he dialed 911 to see if there were any active warrants out for his arrest, police said. Christian Palacios, 24, made the call to Thibodaux police shortly after 10 p.m., according to WGNO-TV. Responding officers reportedly asked Palacios if he knew the difference between an emergency and a non-emergency phone call, and when he told them he did, he was arrested on a charge of misusing the 911 system. Palacios was given a misdemeanor summons, which carries a penalty of up to 30 days in jail and a fine up to $500, according to the station. Thibodeaux police urged residents to call the police department’s main phone line for non-emergency calls at 985-446-5021.

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