Boners

Boner Fight for August 6th, 2018

Boner Candidate #1: OH, THAT’S WHY CALIFORNIA IS ON FIRE.

A pastor with ties to Republican Senator Ted Cruz has claimed that God created the deadly wildfires in California to punish the state for accepting gay people. Kevin Swanson has a history of making anti-LGBT statements. Last year, he claimed that Hurricane Harvey was a ‘punishment’ from God for Texas rejecting an anti-trans law and that public schools will turn kids into “transgender communists.” And in 2016, he said that Girl Scouts leaders should be drowned for being too pro-gay. Most experts have agreed that the ferocity of the wildfires, which have so far killed 11 people, injured 10 and caused more than $400 million worth of damage, is down to climate change. But speaking on his Generations radio show this week, Swanson said it was actually a divine punishment.

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Boner Candidate #2: I’M SURE THERE WAS A GOOD REASON FOR BEATING A NAKED WOMAN.

A Detroit police corporal has been suspended after cellphone video emerged showing him beating a naked, unarmed and possibly mentally ill woman inside an emergency room triage unit as another officer and hospital security restrained her. The video posted on WJBK-TV’s website shows the male officer punching the woman about a dozen times on Wednesday at Detroit Receiving Hospital. She can be heard shouting a threat at someone before being grabbed by one of the police officers and security staff. The male officer then began punching her. What is shown on the video is “very disturbing,” Detroit police Chief James Craig told reporters Thursday, adding that a criminal investigation has begun.

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