Boner of the Day

Boner Fight for January 29th, 2019

Boner Fight

Candidate #1: SO WHEN ARE THEY GOING TO WRAP ROGER IN A SHROUD AND DUMP HIM IN THE SEA?

The longtime Donald Trump ally complained he was seized with “greater force” than was used against drug lords El Chapo or Pablo Escobar. Roger Stone, the longtime ally of Donald Trump charged last week by special counsel Robert Mueller, lamented to reporters on Monday that his arrest was handled like that of Osama “bin Laden or El Chapo or Pablo Escobar.” Stone, now free on bond awaiting trial on a seven-count indictment charging him with obstruction of an official proceeding, false statements and witness tampering, was arrested by FBI agents at his home in Fort Lauderdale, Florida, early Friday.

Candidate #2: BUT IT’S MY JOB. I’M THE BUTTOCKS INSPECTOR.

A man faces charges after thrusting his face into the buttocks of multiple women in Kernersville, according to arrest warrants. Stefan Ryan Shuford was arrested on multiple counts of assault on a female and sexual battery, according to a press release from Kernersville police. Police investigated three reports of a man inappropriately touching women in the 900 and 1100 blocks of South Main Street and 300 block of N. Main Street area on Friday. Police say all incidents happened in areas where people were shopping. One of the 911 callers said Shuford followed her in a parking lot and inside a store. Shuford is accused of sneaking up behind women and thrusting his face into their buttocks. In some of the cases, he’s also accused of licking them.

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