Boners

Boner Fight for June 7th, 2018

Boner Candidate #1: WE HAVE A STRONG RELATIONSHIP WITH THE GERMANS

Washington (CNN)State Department spokeswoman Heather Nauert on Tuesday cited the D-Day invasion during an answer about the current state of US-German relations. “We have a very strong relationship with the government of Germany,” Nauert said. “Looking back in the history books, today is the 71st anniversary of the speech that announced the Marshall Plan. Tomorrow is the anniversary of the D-Day invasion. We obviously have a very long history with the government of Germany, and we have a strong relationship with the government of Germany.” Nauert’s comment came during a press briefing Tuesday after she was asked about controversial remarks by the US ambassadors to Germany and Israel.

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Boner Candidate #2: LET’S JUST PUT AN ASSAULT WEAPON IN EVERY STUDENT LOCKER.

A Colorado sheriff’s department wants to store AR-15s inside schools — as a way of stopping a shooter faster, according to local reports. The Boulder County Sheriff’s Office pitched the idea to move rifles from school resource officers’ cars to safes inside of two schools, saying it would allow deputies to reach the guns and stop a potential shooter quicker, KOAA reported. Only the officers would have access to the vaults, using their fingerprints. Right now, it takes between 10 to 15 minutes for deputies to respond to Lyons Middle/Senior and Niwot High School, the Denver Post reported. “We’re seeing the number of school shootings increase,” said Robert Sullenberger, the division chief for Boulder County. “The vast majority of these school shootings are concluded within five to seven minutes, so the quicker that we can address this threat, the better off everyone is.”

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