Boners

Boner Fight for September 11th, 2018

Boner Fight

Boner Candidate #1: WE REGRET WHAT HAPPENED TO THE TEACHER. THAT’S WHY WE TRIED TO MAKE IT EVEN WORSE.

A DC elementary teacher was sexually assaulted on campus in the middle of a large room. The attack was caught on camera. In a twist, the charter school the teacher worked for switched her to unpaid leave for the rest of the school year. It was the “Muffins For Moms” event, May 23, 2018 at Achievement Prep Academy public charter elementary school in Southeast Washington. On school surveillance video, teacher Page Garbee can be seen posing for a snapshot with one of her student’s mothers and a guest of that parent. Seconds later, that female guest slapped Garbee. “All of a sudden, I felt someone smacking my behind. I stood up, bewildered, looked over and I put out my hands. I’m not sure what I said. ‘No. Stop.’ Then, all of a sudden, there was a hand reaching underneath my skirt. As the woman said, I want to finger your [redacted]. Again, I started backing away. I said ‘no.’

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Boner Candidate #2:  A JORDAN RIVER GET-A-WAY FROM THE BLUE BOUTIQUE.

A man was arrested Monday evening after allegedly throwing rocks through windows of a local store, and attempting to flee from police by jumping into the Jordan River. Officers with the West Valley City Police Department said the incident initially started as an investigation into a criminal mischief call, where a male was breaking windows at a local business. Two individuals who were working at the Blue Boutique, the business that the suspect allegedly entered and vandalized, said the man went into the store saying he was looking for a job. “Some guy came in saying he wanted to get hired by us,” Jayden West, an employee for Blue Boutique, said. “We didn’t want to hire him because he was in socks and really dirty. Then he started trying to steal stuff, and freaked out, and got into a physical fight with me and my manager.”

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