Boner Candidate #1: THE QUACK HAS BEEN HIRED BY THE QUACK IN CHARGE.
Health and Human Services Secretary, Robert F. Kennedy Jr. has tapped in a man who used dangerous puberty delaying treatments on autistic children. All well the republican party has been trying to outlaw the use of puberty blockers to stop children experiencing gender dysphoria. The study was announced by RFK Jr. last week during a cabinet meeting. He stated “By September, we will know what has caused the autism epidemic and we’ll be able to eliminate those exposures.” A time limit is uncommon in the medical world, therefore no one can determine a major medical mystery in the span of a few months. Dorit Reiss, a legal specialist at the UCSF Law has spent years working on legal issues around vaccines, said RFK’s statement has many red flags along with, “Nobody told us what the process will be, Nobody told us what kind of study they’re doing.”
!!! WINNER !!!
Boner Candidate #2: THAT’S MY PET PIG! HIS NAME WAS EDDIE.
A Hawaiian teen is facing up to 10 years in prison after he stole a woman’s pet pig and slaughtered it to cheat their way into a $1,000 hunting contest. 19 year old Jayden Jarnesky Magana, and accomplice 20 year old Krys Ryan Carino snatched Eddie the pig from Sarah Haynes Maui farm last May. They filmed their dogs viciously attacking the poor pig in a sham hunting video they posted to social media. They then killed and gutted Eddie and the entered him at the last minute in a local “biggest pig” hunting contest. The other hunters became suspicious after noticing the pig was much heavier than a typical wild pig along with Eddie being neutered. The walked away with the $1,000 prize. Later they were both arrested and charged with animal cruelty last year.
Boner Candidate #3: WHAT IS YOUNG GENTLEMAN TO DO
A woman who went on a cruise to the Caribbean with her family asked her boyfriend back home to watch her pets. One irritated Michigan man thought he would warn the ship that it was carrying a bomb. But obviously it backfired. 19 year old Joshua Lowe said in an email to Carnival cruise operator “Hey, I think someone might have a bomb on your sunrise cruise ship.” Officials on the ship searched more than 1,000 rooms and diverted the cruise, which should have been going to Jamaica. “FBI agents traced the email address to Lowe, who was living with his girlfriend’s family, Lowe admitted he sent the message because he was upset that the family went on the cruise, while leaving him behind to care for their pets.” Stated the Independent. Lowe will be and has been taking responsibility by spending eight months in prison, He had faced a maximum of five years.
