Boner Candidate #1: HEY SNAKEE, SNAKEE. CUTE LITTLE SNAKE. CRAP!
A Michigan man was hospitalized after an Eastern Massasauga rattlesnake bit him. Richard Culyo, who is dating the injured person’s sister said, “We saw and heard the rattle and it was his first time seeing one, so he wanted to get a really good picture.” Richard continued, “He was trying to get a better angle, better focus, and the snake decided to go for him and got him on the finger.” Curylo recalled. “I asked him, ‘Do you feel any tingling?’ and he said, ‘Oh yeah,’
!!! WINNER !!!
Boner Candidate #2: AND THIS IS JUST FINE WITH THE REPUBLICANS.
Even though Trump has been clashing with the I.R.S for most of his life, they will not be able to target him for an audit moving forward. The I.R.S. previously had a sense of urgency when regularly auditing whoever occupies the Oval Office, but now, Trump has abused his control of the federal government to instead, to escape the scrutiny. “I’ve been audited every year for my entire life, which — I have a lot of wealthy friends that were never audited to this day, they were never audited. I was audited,” Donald Trump said in the Oval Office on Monday. “I was treated very unfairly by the I.R.S.”
Boner Candidate #3: WE ACKNOWLEDGE THAT RESIDENTS HAVE NOT BEEN COMFORTABLE.
Some senior citizens have been left without air conditioning in the Salt Lake City housing complex, during a summer where the heat has broken records time, and time again. At 63 years old, Shahri Bryant can’t take anymore and has been packing her trailer. “I’ve been on a waitlist forever. I finally get in… and there’s no air,” Bryant said. New City Plaza is a 299-unit complex for seniors and people with disabilities. “I feel like us elderly people are not being taken into consideration,” Shirley Norton chimed in, “I have horrible health problems. I had a bad heart, and I’m on oxygen.”
