Boner Candidate #1: SHUT THE LIBRARY DOWN. SHUT IT DOWN WITH FORCE.
Michigan (R) GOP Official, Shane Trejo, is calling to put some muscle in it when closing down a library due to LGBTQ books. This all stems from a conspiracy about libraries carrying graphic novels that are akin to ‘pornography’ that will cause children to be groomed for sexual abuse. Daniel wrote on Facebook, “Time to shut down the library by force. And then perhaps charge the people writing these checks as accessories for child abuse.” The library since has not removed the books from it’s shelves, but it has placed them elsewhere.
Boner Candidate #2: NUKE BIZZLE AND A SWINDLE FIZZLE.
A Memphis rapper is feeling like a dizzle, after being sentenced more than 6 years in prison, for defrauding California Employment Development Department’s COVID Relief fund. In October of 2020, Nuke Bizzle aka Fontrell Antonio Baines was arrested after releasing a song ‘EDD’ about the crimes he committed. The title EDD was a shoutout to the department that he swindled. Song lyrics stated, “I just got rich off of EDD.” Fontrell used a fake identity of a Missouri man to receive $700,000 in Pandemic Unemployment Assistance.
Boner Candidate #3: AT WAR WITH THE SQUIRRELS.
A Minnesota man, Michael James Powers, believes that all is fair in love and war. Especially when the war is against squirrels. Michael was arrested for attempting to shoot a squirrel, but the bullets instead went inside a neighbors window. According to the Associated Press, Michael has multiple charges, including recklessly handling a dangerous weapon and felony discharging a firearm “within a municipality.” Police claim Michael’s wife said, “Well, I told you.” directly to him. Michael said to of shot the squirrels six times in two years, calling it “War.”