Boner Candidate #1: HEY, WHAT’S IN THE BAG?
An inmate in Lyon, France managed to escape a high security prison by hiding in a fellow inmates luggage while they were released. The 20 year old inmate, Elyazid, hid in a large canvas sack meant for released inmates to put their belongings in. For some reason the guards didn’t question the size and weight of the bag, and he was able to be snuck out of prison successfully. 24 hours after his disappearance from the prison, a man-hunt was launched, and he was found 25 minutes away in a cellar. His accomplice now risks returning to prison, even though he just finished serving his time.
Boner Candidate #2: WE WILL NOT BEND THE KNEE TO THE CLIMATE CULT
Bizarre new Florida law will require airlines to report any “weather modification” activities. This bill, fueled by conspiracy theories and false information, believes that major airlines are purposefully and successfully affecting the weather. The bill signed by Florida Governor Ron DeSantis prohibits substances being released into the atmosphere in attempt to “alter weather, temperature, climate, or sunlight intensity”. Greater Orlando Aviation Authority spokeswoman has said, “neither airport performs any geoengineering or weather modification activities, nor are we are aware of any activity on airport properties that must be reported at this time”.
!!! WINNER !!!
Boner Candidate #3: ARE HATE CRIME ALWAYS COMMITTED BY THE VERY CRUEL AND VERY STUPID?
2 men in Murray Utah are being charged for a hate crime after robbing a gay man. The men were driving when they pulled up to the man and started yelling slurs. The men, Brian Platt and Monte Luker got out of the car and started chasing the man, who is gay. Luker swung a baseball bat at the man while the other Platt his phone. The men forced the victim to “get on his knees and beg for his phone back”, while yelling slurs at him. They then threw the phone and damaged it. However, the phone was on a video call and it was all being recorded, with video footage of the 2 men swinging the bat and yelling slurs at him. They are being charged with aggravated robbery, property damage, and hate crime penalty enhancements if convicted.
