Boner Candidate #1: 34 CANS. 34 OPEN CANS.
A Florida Highway Patrol trooper arrested a 34-year-old man after discovering 34 open White Claw cans in his car during a traffic stop. Conor Parady was pulled over for driving over 90 mph when his Honda sped past a patrol officer. The trooper realized Parady was intoxicated during the stop. The open White Claw cans were placed on the passenger seat. Parady was arrested and charged with driving under the influence and taken to Pasco County Jail with a blood alcohol level of 0.117.
!!! WINNER !!!
Boner Candidate #2: WHAT SAY YOU NOW PETE? WHAT? I CAN’T HEAR YOU PETE.
A major flu outbreak has infected nearly 160 troops at Lackland Air Force Base in Texas less than two months after Defense Secretary Pete Hegseth decided to no longer require flu vaccinations for service members. The outbreak at the base made its way through a Basic Military Training wing, where new recruits share bunk beds in open bays and meals at communal tables. A trainee at the base died in his sixth week of training after falling ill. Since Mr. Hegseth’s vaccine policy, only about 40 percent of trainees have opted to take the vaccine. In the aftermath of the outbreak, the Air Force issued an exception to the vaccine policy, requiring that all recruits at Lackland get flu shots.
Boner Candidate #3: A ‘HOUSE-WARMING GIFT’ WAS THE BEST HE COULD COME UP WITH.
In 2025, a ceremony was held at the Gold Star Monument in Sandy, Utah where U.S. Marine veteran, Nickolas White, was gifted a service dog for PTSD. The service dog had been provided and trained by the SSGT Taylor Hoover Foundation. In requesting a service dog, White shared how he had been near where Hoover had died while serving in the military. To the surprise of many, it was a lie. White was never a Marine, nor was he a veteran in any branch of the U.S. military. Following an investigation, White has now been charged for Deception after the foundation paid $5,100 to purchase and train the dog. White admitted to lying about serving in the military, but claimed the service dog provided by the Hoover Foundation was a “house-warming gift.”
