Boner Candidate #1 THE BEST PEOPLE HAVE ALL THE LUCK
According to an article on PEOPLE, a Kentucky man who won a jackpot of $167.3 million from Powerball in 2025 was arrested after he was found intoxicated in his car in a Wal-Mart parking lot. James Farthing was that winner and according to the news outlets cited in the article, “Farthing told deputies that a woman had driven him to the parking lot and left him there. However, surveillance footage reviewed by another deputy reportedly showed the Mustang arriving at the parking lot without anyone getting out before law enforcement arrived.” This was Farthing’s fifth arrest since he won the money. One of his previous arrests was, in part, for allegedly stealing around $12,000 from a house he broke into.
!!! WINNER !!!
Boner Candidate #2: REWRITE THE TEXTBOOKS? I’M NOT HOLDING MY BREATH
A group of people are searching for the remains of Noah’s Ark in Turkey and believe they are on the verge of history changing discoveries. Lauren Witzke, a controversial figure and flat earther, is part of this endeavor. According to News Break, Witzke said, “Core drilling has begun and the big bang evolutionists are already in damage control mode” and “When we are done, university curricula will need to be rewritten, and Darwinism will be dismantled. This is the place where creation began anew.” Despite numerous searches, Noah’s Ark has never been found.
Boner Candidate #3: CRAZY ATTRACTS CRAZY
The former body guard, and now former boyfriend, of former senator Krysten Sinema was arrested after doing $200,000 in damage to her home in Arizona. The man, Matthew Ammel, tossed 22 paintings into her pool as well as smashed bottles of her alcohol. According to The New York Post, it was reported by KPNX that the suspect “allegedly threatened to destroy the former senator’s artwork every 10 minutes if she didn’t concede to his demands and make a post to X,” though what he wanted her to post was not revealed. Ammel has mental health issues related to Army service in the Middle East. Sinema was previously involved in a law suit with Ammel’s ex-wife who took her to court for ruining their marriage.
