Boner Candidate #1: WELL, IF SHE’D BEEN IN THE CAR HE WOULDN’T BE ABLE TO RUN HER DOWN.
A Virginia Republican state delegate, Matt Fariss, was speeding when his tires blew out according to his passenger. He became irate when changing the tire did not go according to plan. His passenger said in the affidavit, “Then he became furious but his son didn’t show up. His mood went dark and he was being angry and abusive.” She started walking in the direction towards her cousins but Fariss shouted for her to get in the car. She replied to him a sharp ‘no’. At that point Fariss turned the wheeling cutting into the woman, sending her glasses off her face. He pleaded guilty to a misdemeanor hit and run.
Boner Candidate #2: OH, THOSE WERE PASSPORTS?
A hotel in the U.S.A has stranded dozens of students after shredding every single of their 42 passports. “We are processing their applications for emergency travel documents so the staff and children can return to the U.K. as quickly as possible.” said a Foreign, Commonwealth and Development Office spokesperson. Head teacher Katie Hobbs exclaimed, “The group are at the British Embassy in New York today to finalize all of the documents before they fly home on Tuesday, four days later than planned.” She was not on the trip. A parent said of Katie, “She has just communicated well with us and was really calm and really clear.”
Boner Candidate #3: IF YOU DON’T LET ME BE AN A-HOLE I’LL SUE YOU.
Alex Stein, a far right commentator, believes his first amendment rights include being a harassing jack wagon, and if you block him he’ll sue you. At least that is exactly what is happening to Rep. Alexandria Ocasio-Cortez. Stein is expecting a court to side with him, which would remove the block that Alexandria placed on him for badgering her. Alex Stein’s lawyer put in black and white, “Mr. Stein desires to engage in political discussions in the robust public forum that is Ms. Cortez’s huge Twitter account.” Alexandria was caught claiming that, “Stein was “seeking extremist fame” and that Stein is seeking extremist fame.
