Boner Candidate #1: YOU HAVE TO BE CAREFUL OR THE VACUUM CAN GET THE DROP ON YA.
A Nebraska family called the police because they thought they heard an intruder in their home. When police investigated further, they found the family’s Roomba but no intruder.
Boner Candidate #2: I WANT Y’ALL TO BE COTTON PICKERS.
A social studies teacher in Rochester, NY has been placed on leave after he taught multiple lessons on slavery using balls of cotton and handcuffs. Patrick Rausch instructed students to pick seeds out of the cotton and gave preferential treatment to white children when they asked to stop. The teacher also told black children to put handcuffs on and attempt to free themselves, berating the children when they were unable to do so.
Boner Candidate #3: I GUESS I DON’T KNOW HOW TO DRIVE STICK.
A Florida man who had just purchased a $700,000 2006 Ford GT Heritage Edition sports car crashed the vehicle in his neighborhood before it was registered or insured. The man, driving on a suspended license, said he was “unfamiliar” with a manual transmission and hit a palm tree while attempting to downshift.
