Boner Candidate #1 – HE WAS NOT ‘BLIND DRUNK.’ HE WAS BLIND AND DRUNK
Anthony Hall, 50, took his partner’s car without permission and headed north on the M6, navigating by following an HGV’s lights. Hall, A blind man with no driving license received a suspended prison sentence after drunkenly driving 150 miles along a UK motorway at night. Hall failed his breathalyzer and told officers he had gone blind two years prior and wanted to escape his home, relationship, and finances. He was sentenced to 36 weeks imprisonment, suspended for 18 months, plus a 12-month driving ban and £272 in costs.
Boner Candidate #2 – THE CAT IN THE HAT IS LURKING IN THE DARK
A string of unsettling Cat in the Hat encounters around the world has taken another disturbing turn, with a person in costume accused of chasing a teenage girl in Canada. She was allegedly chased the teenager through an Okanagan neighborhood last month. The beloved Dr Seuss character was first introduced in the 1957 book before being portrayed by Mike Myers in the 2003 live action movie . The recent incident comes amid a string of Cat in the Hat encounters reported at schools across the UK, Ireland and the US, sparking fear among children, parents and staff. The ominous appearances have since been dubbed a viral trend, with people posting photos of life sized versions of the Dr Seuss character standing perfectly still as they loom outside windows. In nearly every documented case, law enforcement has determined the content to be fabricated, using anonymous accounts and AI-generated images to provoke fear rather than carry out any actual act of violence.
!!! WINNER!!!
Boner Candidate #3 – I’M GONNA CRAWL THROUGH THE WALLS AND MAKE YOUR LIFE HELL.
A man allegedly cut into his neighbor’s house with a weed trimmer and said, “I’m going to be crawling through the walls and figuring out ways to make your life hell. A woman called police in the early morning hours of September 6 to report that her neighbor “was actively breaking through the wall between” her apartment unit and his. 58-year-old Charles Bowden was pursued as the suspect after authorities confirmed a substantial hole in the wall. Bowden allegedly refused to speak and “instead threw a bag out of the upstairs window toward them,” then refusing to leave for an hour until deputies managed to call his phone and convince him to come outside. Bowden was arrested and charged with aggravated assault with a deadly weapon and burglary with assault or battery.
