Boner Candidate #1: A DEAD DOG IS NOT ELIGIBLE TO VOTE, RIGHT?
62 year old Laura Lee Yourex, faces five felony charges for registering her dog, Maya, to vote and casting fraudulent ballots in two elections. Yourex is accused of submitting a valid vote-by-mail ballot for her dog in the 2021 gubernatorial recall election, while a similar ballot in 2022 was rejected. She boasted about the illegal act on social media, even posting pictures of Maya with an “I Voted” sticker and a ballot, despite the dog’s death. If convicted, Yourex could face up to six years in prison for charges including perjury and casting ballots under false pretenses.
Boner Candidate #2: SOME THINGS IN THE WORLD ARE SO STRANGE I DON’T HAVE WORDS FOR THEM.
49 year old Andrew Neil Hopper, a vascular surgeon, will serve two and a half years in prison after falsely claiming insurance and saying he lost his legs to sepsis when in reality he purposely cut off his own legs for sexual gratification. Hopper falsely claimed over £466,000 in insurance payouts after stating he lost both of his legs to sepsis, but in reality he had done a self-amputation and kept his legs in a frozen cooler. CPS stated that Hopper was a paying patronage of a website that “sold videos of amputations and body modification, including penises being removed.” Hopper pleaded guilty to two counts of fraud by false representation and three counts of possession of extreme pornographic images.
!!!WINNER!!!
Boner Candidate #3: THE PHILLIE’S KAREN
A woman, dubbed “Phillies Karen” by outraged fans, became the center of controversy after she demanded a Harrison Bader home run ball from a birthday boy’s father during a live broadcast of a Phillies game. The father, holding his son, had initially retrieved the ball, but the woman insisted it was hers, leading to a tense confrontation. Despite the backlash on social media, the family received a signed bat from Bader as a consolation, along with a goodie bag from the Marlins. The incident quickly went viral, with fans condemning the woman’s actions, while the young fan ultimately walked away with multiple memorable souvenirs.
