Boner Candidate #1: IT’S TRUE…I AM INTOLERANT AND INSENSITIVE TO CERTAIN SOCIETIES CULTURAL TRADITIONS.
The Taliban has enacted a new penal code signed by Supreme Leader Hibatullah Akhundzada that permits husbands to physically abuse their wives and children, provided no bones are broken or open wounds are caused. Women must prove abuse in court while remaining fully covered, and convicted abusers face a maximum sentence of just 15 days in prison. The law also allows imprisonment of women who leave home without their husband’s permission and offers no protections for children against physical, mental, or sexual abuse. Since regaining control of Afghanistan in 2021, the Taliban has imposed increasingly restrictive “vice and virtue” laws, further eroding women’s rights and drawing condemnation from human rights groups.
Boner Candidate #2: TRUMP’S CABINET MEMBERS…IF THEY AREN’T CREEPS OFTEN THEIR SPOUSES ARE.
Dr. Shawn DeRemer, husband of Labor Secretary Lori Chavez-DeRemer, has been barred from the Labor Department’s headquarters after at least two female staff members accused him of sexual assault. The women reported that he touched them inappropriately inside the department’s Washington building, and one December incident during working hours was captured on security cameras and reviewed as part of a criminal investigation. The allegations surfaced during an internal inspector general investigation, and the Metropolitan Police Department filed a report in January regarding forced sexual contact.
!!!WINNER!!!
Boner Candidate #3: WE SHOULDN’T HAVE TO SAY THIS, BUT PLEASE DON’T ABANDON YOUR DOG AT THE AIRPORT
A woman was arrested at Harry Reid International Airport after allegedly abandoning her 2-year-old goldendoodle at a JetBlue ticket counter when she was told she lacked the required paperwork to fly with the dog as a service animal. Surveillance video showed her leaving the dog tied to the counter before heading to her gate, and police said she later became hostile and resisted officers when they attempted to detain her. The dog, nicknamed “Jet Blue,” was eventually placed with Retriever Rescue of Las Vegas after the woman failed to reclaim him, and he is now safe in foster care.
