Boner Candidate #1: IT SEEMS LIKE IT’S ALWAYS THE ASSISTANT PRINCIPAL WHO IS THE DOPE
A Georgia elementary school assistant principal, Courtney Janell Shaw, was arrested after allegedly stealing 98 items worth about $1,000 from a Walmart in Woodstock using a self-checkout “stacking” scheme. Investigators say Shaw carried out the thefts over a two-month period, with surveillance footage and vehicle records linking her to the incidents. She has been charged with felony shoplifting, booked into the Cherokee County jail, and later released on bond.
!!!WINNER!!!
Boner Candidate #2: THE PEOPLE IN CHARGE ARE AS INEPT AS THEY ARE EVIL.
The Justice Department withdrew thousands of Epstein-related documents after victims and their lawyers complained that sloppy redactions exposed sensitive personal information and upended victims’ lives. Officials blamed the disclosures on technical or human errors and said they have revised review protocols, pulling documents when concerns are flagged and reposting redacted versions within 24 to 36 hours. Victims’ attorneys sought judicial intervention, citing instances where names, banking details, and other identifying information were left unredacted, prompting a judge to schedule a conference to address the issue. The redaction failures also spilled into an unrelated sex trafficking trial, where defense lawyers sought a mistrial after improperly released documents linked defendants to Epstein, though the request was tentatively rejected.
Boner Candidate #3: FRAT BOYS WITH STAND-ALONE MUSTACHES
An 18-year-old Northern Arizona University student was found dead at a residence near campus after attending a fraternity rush event, and police say alcohol consumption and hazing may have played a role. Three Delta Tau Delta fraternity leaders were arrested and charged with hazing after investigators determined the student was a pledge candidate at an event held the night before. The university has suspended the fraternity while the investigation continues, as police work with the medical examiner to determine the cause of death.
