Boner Candidate #1: AND NOW THE NEWS: EVERYTHING IS FINE.
Federal Communications Commission Chair Brendan Carr warned that broadcasters spreading “hoaxes” or distorted news about the U.S.–Israeli war in Iran could risk losing their broadcast licenses if they fail to operate in the public interest. His comments echoed criticism from Donald Trump, who accused media outlets of falsely reporting damage to U.S. tanker aircraft in Saudi Arabia and has previously suggested revoking licenses from networks with negative coverage of him. However, the FCC typically licenses individual stations rather than networks and is limited in regulating content due to protections under the First Amendment to the United States Constitution.
Boner Candidate #2: THEY WERE PROBABLY MAGIC BEANS
Lorenzo Chavez Rascon, a 22-year-old living in West Valley City, was detained by U.S. Immigration and Customs Enforcement after a drug-related arrest in which the suspected narcotics were actually dried pinto beans. Although prosecutors declined to file charges and a federal judge, Robert J. Shelby, temporarily blocked his deportation, Rascon remains in federal custody and has been transferred between multiple detention centers while challenging his detention in court. His attorney, Alec Bracken, argues that Rascon should be allowed to stay in the U.S. because he has deferred action through an approved U-visa petition and an ongoing asylum case as he awaits the birth of his daughter.
!!!WINNER!!!
Boner Candidate #3: THE ONLY PLACE THEM MUSLIMS SHOULD BE MOVING IS OUT OF ALABAMA
A proposed relocation of the Islamic Academy of Alabama in Hoover, Alabama sparked backlash from conservative activists and officials, including Tommy Tuberville, who publicly opposed the Muslim school expanding in the area. The school, a high-performing K-12 institution with strong graduation and college acceptance rates, had operated for decades without controversy before the move was proposed. Critics framed the school as an “Islamic indoctrination center,” reflecting broader anti-Muslim rhetoric among some conservative politicians and commentators across the United States. Experts say the controversy highlights a wider rise in Islamophobia tied to political tensions, immigration debates, and rhetoric amplified by figures such as Donald Trump.
