Boner Candidate #1: NO SNAP BENEFITS FOR YOU BUT A NICE PLACE TO GO NUMBER TWO FOR TRUMP
President Trump announced the completion of the Lincoln Bathroom’s refurbishment at the White House, showcasing a new design featuring polished Statuary marble. The opulent style drew comparisons to the lavish tastes of foreign dictators like Nicolai Ceaușescu and Saddam Hussein. Critics, including Senator Elizabeth Warren, condemned Trump’s extravagant spending amid rising grocery prices and looming cuts to affordable healthcare for millions of Americans.
!!!WINNER!!!
Boner Candidate #2: PARTY ON WHILE THE GOVERNMENT STOPS
Former President Donald Trump faced backlash for attending a lavish Great Gatsby-themed Halloween party at Mar-a-Lago just hours before funding for the Supplemental Nutrition Assistance Program (SNAP), relied upon by 42 million Americans, expired amid a government shutdown. Prominent Democrats, including Gavin Newsom, Ro Khanna, and Chris Murphy, criticized Trump for prioritizing a party for wealthy guests while millions faced losing food assistance. In response, the White House accused Democrats of refusing to reopen the government and blamed them for the funding lapse. Meanwhile, Trump defended himself on Truth Social, saying he wanted legal clarification to release emergency funds and claiming he didn’t want Americans to go hungry. Federal judges have since ordered the Trump administration to release over $5 billion in emergency funding to keep SNAP running while lawsuits over the program’s legality continue.
Boner Candidate #3: KASH PATEL KNOWS HOW TO HANDLE THE GOVERNMENT SHUTDOWN.
The FBI has reportedly fired Steven Palmer, a 27-year veteran who oversaw the bureau’s aviation units, following controversy surrounding FBI director Kash Patel’s use of a government jet for a personal trip. Palmer’s removal, made official on Friday, marks the third leadership change within the FBI’s Critical Incident Response Group since Patel took charge earlier this year. Sources told Bloomberg that Palmer was pressured to resign after negative media coverage of Patel’s jet use, though they were unsure why Patel blamed him for the publicity, as flight logs are publicly available. The incident has reignited criticism over FBI officials’ use of government aircraft for personal travel and highlighted internal turmoil under Patel’s leadership.
