Boner Candidate #1: THE DEPTH OF STUPIDITY DOESN’T HAVE A BOTTOM
Robert Jeffress, the senior pastor of First Baptist Dallas, says that President Trump has a better understanding of what the bible teaches about government than the Pope. Jeffress made the comment just two days after the Secretary of State met with the Pope at the Vatican to reconcile the tension caused by Trump’s online slander, calling the pope weak and “terrible for foreign policy” due to his sympathy for Iran. Jeffress says Pope Leo is a “good man” and “sincere in faith” but “sincerely wrong when it comes to Iran.” “It looks like President Trump has a better understanding of what the Bible teaches than the pope,” Jeffress added. Leo addressed Trump’s criticism directly, “I have no fear of either the Trump administration or of speaking out loudly about the message of the Gospel,” the pope said. He added that the Catholic Church wasn’t trying to make foreign policy and that he didn’t see his role as political.
Boner Candidate #2: HE SHOULD ALSO FORFEIT HIS MEMBERSHIP IN THE HUMAN RACE.
West Valley City Police officer, Martin Siller, has resigned from his position following the release of body-cam footage depicting him making racist remarks on duty. In the footage released by the Eugene Police Department, Siller is listening to the radio alone when a radio voice says “What do you do to stand up for your Somali and Latino communities?” Siller responds out loud, “F*** the Somali and Latino communities! I’m about the American communities. I’m about America, son!” In another video you can hear Siller talking on the phone with a friend. Siller’s friend, is discussing a vacation to Hawaii when he says, “Well, Hawaii is just…” at which point Siller interrupts and says, “Too many Hawaiians, right?” Siller is also heard saying he wouldn’t go on a cruise because he’s “not gay.” He then goes on to question, “which [cruise] do Black people go on? They can’t swim! You’ve gotta be able to swim if you go.” In a press release on Monday, Eugene Police Chief Chris Skinner called Siller’s words “unacceptable,” “wrong” and “disrespectful.” “We hear your outrage. We hear your disappointment. And we accept the responsibility to do better.”
!!! WINNER !!!
Boner Candidate #3: THAT KID NEEDS TO LEARN TO BE HOMELESS
Alysia and Robert McIntosh, two parents in Taylorsville, were arrested Thursday and are facing charges of aggravated child abuse after locking their 11-year-old child out of the house. Police started to investigate the couple in November when a neighbor contacted them and asked for a welfare check on the child. The neighbor said that the kid came to her house to ask if they could use the bathroom. During the visit, the child states that they want to live with the neighbor because their parents had locked them out of the house. The father came to retrieve the kid and return home, but hours later the neighbor called the police because she had seen the child in the garage without a coat for several hours. When officers arrived, Alysia told the police that they had put the child in the garage as a punishment. Police found the kid in the garage with a thin blanket, and a bucket with a toilet seat. Robert told the officers that the kid had been in the garage for the entire night. When talking to the child, they said their mother threatened to call the police on them if they went inside to use the bathroom. Robert claims the child was being taught “how to be homeless” after stating they wanted to run away.
