Boner Candidate #1: THE LAST PLACE I SAW IT WAS IN THE TOILET.
Forest View Educational Center in Arlington Heights cancels classes after a school resource officer lost his gun in the bathroom. The officer had removed the firearm from its holster while using the restroom, forgot about it, and discovered it was missing after students had been dismissed that evening. Police conducted extensive searches using K9 units but couldn’t locate the weapon. Police Chief Nicholas Pecora Jr. called the incident “unfortunate and embarrassing.” Additional uniformed officers will patrol the campus in coming days.
!!! WINNER !!!
Boner Candidate #2: OMG! BOOTSY, NO! NOT BOOTSY!
Garret Cox, a 12-year-old boy from Georgia, has been left heart broken after his beloved therapy pig was shot. Bootsy, the 400-pund hog, helped Garret with managing his autism and ADHD symptoms according to his mother. Mrs. Cox said Garrett and Bootsy were inseparable as the boy devoted himself to feeding, bathing and playing with the animal in their backyard. But tragedy struck when Bootsy has escaped from her pen. Garrets father said he had heard a gunshot shortly after the escape, and when he followed the sound he found Bootsy dead next to a pot of boiling water, surrounded by neighbors wearing aprons. Mrs. Cox said that she asked one of them, “Why would you do this? You knew she was our pig,” only to be met with laughter and derision. ‘There was a rope with blood on it beside her body,’ Mr. Cox claims. The Cox family said they believe Bootsy was killed by neighbors who planned to eat him , ‘This is someone who had purpose in what they were doing.”
Boner Candidate #3: OH, CLAVICULAR…YOU’RE THE BEST.
Clavicular, the leader of the “looksmaxxing” online subculture, is once again facing charged in Florida for live streaming his crimes. Clavicular, and two other looksmaxxing influencers, had set out on an airboat in a state nature preserve in the Everglades for a live stream. During this live steam, the influencer pulled out a gun and fired shots at an alligator. The Influencer was charged with a misdemeanor for unlawfully discharging a fire arm in public, and is scheduled to appear in court this month. Clavicular’s defense lawyers said in a statement on Wednesday “[Clavicular] was following the instructions of a licensed airboat guide…He relied on that guidance…No animals or people were harmed. We are confident that once the full picture is understood, people will see this for what it is.” Florida wildlife officers began their investigation soon after the video appeared on the streaming service Kick.
