Radio From Hell

Boner (Round One and Two) for October 30th, 2018

Round One

Boner Candidate #1:HEY, I GOT PLENTY OF MONEY FOR A LAWYER TOO.

Police in western Pennsylvania say a man faces forgery charges for allegedly trying to pay off court fines with counterfeit money.
Westmoreland County detectives say 50-year-old James Floyd, of Monessen, handed the fake $100 bill to a county clerk of court’s office employee on Oct. 19. The Pittsburgh Tribune-Review reports the bill had a fake security ribbon and Chinese lettering on the front and back.
The criminal complaint says Floyd was making a payment for a $25 fee and expected to receive change, and the clerk realized the money was faked.
Floyd is charged with forgery and theft and didn’t have an attorney listed in online court records. The charges will be sent by summons.

Boner Candidate #2: THEY’RE COMING TO GET YOU WITH SMALL POX.

As immigration opponents continue to froth over the caravan making its way from Central America toward the United States, some are floating the idea that asylum-seekers will bring disease with them—including one that was wiped out nearly 40 years ago.
The right-wing magazine The New American ran a story over the weekend headlined: “Will Migrant Caravan Kill Your Child—With Disease?”
“What about diseases?” Fox & Friends co-host Brian Kilmeade asked Monday. Later, Fox News contributor Sidney Powell suggested that the current outbreak of acute flaccid myelitis (AFM) affecting children was because of migrants—prompting host Lou Dobbs to correct her on air.
And former immigration agent David Ward, also appearing on Fox, cited a disease that doesn’t actually exist anymore.

Boner Candidate #3: THE HAUNTED HOOCHIE SCREWED UP BIG TIME.

A Halloween venue in Ohio that held a “Swastika Saturday” the day a gunman opened fire at a Jewish synagogue in Pittsburgh killing 11 said “we screwed up big time.”
Haunted Hoochie in Pataskala put out a Facebook promotional post that day referring to “Swastika Saturday.” The owner says it’s the traditional last day of the season when some actors paint swastikas on themselves. Some on social media accused the haunted house attraction of anti-Semitism and Nazism.
Haunted Hoochie said in a post Sunday that the attraction shows the “horrors of the world.” But owner Tim May said Monday his posts were mistakenly taken to mean he was defending “horrible deplorables.”

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Round Two

Boner Candidate #1:SOMEON NEED TO PROOFREAD THE PAPER

Boner Candidate #2: WAY TO GO. WAY TO RUIN HALLOWEEN.

A family pumpkin patch was forced to close for the season after vandals destroyed its pumpkin crop and decorations.
Jasmin Rojas, co-owner of Rojas Farms near 3000 West and 7800 South in West Jordan, said when they closed Saturday, everything was fine. Then when they came to open on Sunday, they discovered that someone had vandalized their pumpkin patch. “Someone had just gone and basically destroyed everything. They destroyed our crops. They stole some of our mini wheelbarrows that we use for our kids to use,” Rojas said. “It was really a sad scene to just come to.” Photos posted to Facebook show broken and smashed pumpkins, scarecrow decorations snapped in half, a huge spider feature crumpled. Hundreds of pumpkins are destroyed by vandals at the pumpkin patch near 3000 W. and 7800 South in West Jordan over the weekend. On Monday, Oct. 29, 2018, the owners of Rojas Farms say they have to close for the season, much earlier than normal, due to the vandalization.

Boner Candidate #3: GOOD THING HE WASN’T SMART ENOUGH TO THINK ABOUT USING MATCHES.

A 12-year-old boy urinated on an electrical outlet Friday morning at Sunnyside Intermediate School in an attempt to start a fire, Lafayette police reported.
The boy managed to start a fire or enough smoke to set off the fire alarm, Lafayette Fire Investigator Todd Trent said. To the relief of many, the boy’s plan to failed, according to police and Trent. Someone hurried into the first-floor boys’ restroom with a fire extinguisher and put out the small fire, which was contained to the electrical outlet, Trent said. As for the boy, he was arrested, accused of criminal recklessness, police said. The boy was taken to the juvenile probation intake offices, police said. The boy’s actions raises many questions — No. 1 among them is whether he might have shocked himself while showering the outlet with his urine.Trent said that would not be possible if the boy was standing upright. But neither is it likely that the urine hitting from that angle would have soaked into the outlet to create enough heat to cause a fire, Trent said, adding that the case remains under investigation
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