ROUND ONE
BONER CANDIDATE #1: WAIT. THERE’S AN OLD JERSEY?
An American college student who didn’t know the difference between the US state of New Jersey and the British Channel Island of Jersey is clear about the distinction now. Joe Hill, of Plymouth, Massachusetts, returned Sunday from a vacation on the island off the coast of France that was paid for by Jersey residents. The Boston Globe reports it started when Hill joined a Facebook group called “Good or Bad Jersey Businesses” he assumed was about the US state. He posted a comment on the page that garnered 1,500 likes. Jersey resident Alex Dolan saw it and launched a crowdfunding effort that raised enough money to bring Hill and his girlfriend to the island.
BONER CANDIDATE #2: HEY LIBTARDS. THIS IS WHY WE NEED THE WALL.
Over at our favorite website for classy headlines and snarky stories, Wonkette, there’s a fall-flat-on-your-face article about a twitter exchange that begins with a post by White House correspondent Lucian Wintrich, who writes for the right-wing conspiracy blog The Gateway Pundit. Seems Mr. Wintrich was none too pleased with a photo of three Native Americans flipping off Mount Rushmore. If you’ve been to Rushmore, you may have seen a protest by indigenous peoples. While most national parks have incorporated Native American perspectives into their exhibits, websites and other interpretative materials (histories that were often scrubbed in the past), the fact remains that the land was stolen from its original inhabitants. Grand Canyon, Yosemite, Yellowstone, etc.—Native people were living there when the federal government took possession, and most of them were removed.
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ROUND TWO
BONER CANDIDATE #1: I GOTTA BE FREE
A Forestville man who was halfway through serving a four-day sentence for driving under the influence escaped the North County Detention Facility in Sonoma County on Friday night and was captured 38 minutes later, a county sheriff’s sergeant said. Marc Schwartz, 22, scaled a tall fence capped with coils of razor wire at the detention center on Ordinance Road north of Santa Rosa near the Charles M. Schulz-Sonoma County Airport around 8 p.m., Sgt. Spencer Crum said. Schwartz untangled himself from the razor wire, jumped a wooden fence and ran toward Skylane Boulevard, Crum said. The detention facility was locked down and an inmate count determined Schwartz was the escapee. An alert citizen reported a man running through tall grass in a nearby field and the searchers established a perimeter, Crum said.
BONER CANDIDATE #2: I PAID FOR THE TICKET. I CAN DO WHAT I WANT.
The star of the Salt Lake City run of Hamilton took to Twitter Sunday to vent his frustrations about the audience etiquette. Joseph Morales, who plays the role of Alexander Hamilton, tweeted, “SLC, you’re killing me. Put your phones away. We can see you. This isn’t a movie. What is up with you guys?” The tweet was met with mixed reaction. Some people apologized for the behavior; others fired back in what felt like a 21st Century “duel”–bringing up the Jazz playoffs and shaming the star for calling out “all of SLC for something a few people are doing”. To which Morales responded “…by all means, go to the game or stay home. This is what we’re dealing with in SLC, folks. So rude it’s shocking.”
BONER CANDIDATE #3: I WAS JUST SINGING A SONG
Two white sorority sisters from different universities are reportedly under fire for videos in which they repeatedly used racial slurs. Footage posted on social media shows the female students — identified as William Paterson student Jasmine Barkley and Penn State junior Kaitlin Listro — saying the N-word in two separate clips, The Daily Collegian reported. In the first video, Listro repeatedly used the N-word while blasting a song from her phone. “If you’re offended, s–k my d–k,” the Alpha Chi Omega sorority sister clad in Penn State gear said in the clip. Barkley, a friend of Listro’s, also shared a video to Instagram where she asked her followers “whether it was appropriate for me to say n—-r if it’s in a song and I’m singing the lyrics.”
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