Boners

Boner Candidate Preview June 6, 2016

Boner Candidate #1: HONEY. DADDY IS CHALLENGING YOU TO A DUEL.

A man in El Paso County, Colorado, was arrested Wednesday after a bizarre domestic dispute that climaxed with him pointing a gun at his juvenile daughter and challenging her to a duel, police said. Police say Robert Williams, 37, was arguing with his daughter, whose name and age have not been released, at around 7.20pm when he pulled a handgun on her and his wife. He is then alleged to have commanded his daughter to go get a gun from another room and take part in a duel – which she did, a spokeswoman, told ABC 7.

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Boner Candidate #2: LYING LIES AND THE LIARS WHO TELL THEM

A local news interview with Ken Starr took an awkward turn when the ex-Baylor University president was confronted with a potentially incriminating email that prompted his crisis manager to hurriedly intervene — after which Starr gave two more answers, both different from his first response, to the original question. Starr on Wednesday resigned as chancellor of Baylor University. The school’s board of regents had removed him as president just a few days earlier as part of the ongoing fallout from revelations the school turned a blind eye to claims Baylor football players were raping female students.

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Boner Candidate #3: OH COME ON…ALL THIS FOR JUST 20 MINUTES OF ACTION?

The father of Brock Turner, the ex-Stanford swimmer who was given a paltry six-month sentence in a county jail for sexually assaulting an unconscious woman in 2015, is defending his son’s crime—and saying that he should not be imprisoned for only getting “20 minutes of action.” In a letter Dan Turner penned as a diametric opposition to his son’s sentencing—which, in effect, became an indirect defense of his son’s actions—the father of the convicted 20-year-old rapist argued that his son is “not violent.”

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Boner Candidate #4: THEY TRIED TO SELL ME A DEFECTIVE BABY.

A West Virginia couple was arrested after they tried to sell the woman’s 3-month-old baby reportedly to buy drugs, authorities say. Jonathan Flint, 20, and Ashley Harmon, 25, of Layland, West Virginia, attempted to sell the infant for $1,000 and then $500, WSAZ-TV reported. Investigators believe Harmon and her fiancé were going to use the money to buy drugs, the station reported. Fayette County Sheriff Steve Kessler was quoted in a press release as saying the case was shocking. “Law enforcement officers frequently deal with some pretty strange situations,” he said.

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Boner Candidate #5: PLEASE HELP US FIGHT DRUGS IN THE PHILIPPINES

The Philippine president-elect has encouraged the public to help him in his war against crime, urging citizens with guns to shoot and kill drug dealers who resist arrest and fight back in their neighborhoods. In a nationally televised speech late Saturday, Rodrigo Duterte told a huge crowd in the southern city of Davao that Filipinos who help him battle crime will be rewarded. “Please feel free to call us, the police, or do it yourself if you have the gun — you have my support,” Duterte said, warning of an extensive illegal drug trade that involves even the country’s police.

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Boner Candidate #6: THIS MIGHT BE THE MOST RACIST TV COMMERCIAL EVER MADE

While most marketing executives would be thrilled to see an ad go viral around the world, this one’s getting attention for all the wrong reasons. The spot for China’s Qiaobi laundry detergent is being called the most racist commercial ever made. The ad shows an Asian woman doing laundry when a black man appears. He has paint on his face and clothes. The two trade flirty gestures, but when he moves in for a kiss, she stuffs a detergent pack into his mouth and forces him into the washer:

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