Boners

Boner Candidate Preview May 11, 2016

Boner Candidate #1: THEY WERE REALLY GOOD TACOS

Just after bar-close at 2:38 a.m. on Sunday, May 8th, the Austin Police Department responded to a report of gunfire at what appears to be the Tortillas Hecha a Manos taco truck in Lanier Village, just south of Peyton Gin and North Lamar. When police arrived, they found 39-year-old Rigoberto Jose Castillo dead and three others injured, one critically. You may be asking, what could have caused all this mayhem? As the story goes, it all began whensomeone allegedly cut in line for tacos.

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Boner Candidate #2: SPORTS BUILDS CHARACTER

Members of the Grosse Ile High School lacrosse team are under investigation by police and the school district after allegations surfaced Monday that some of the teens killed an animal prior to a game. Grosse Ile Township Police Chief Joseph Porcerelli confirmed Tuesday to the Free Press that his department is investigating the incident involving the team, which is known as the Grosse Ile Red Devils.

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Boner Candidate #3: IT WORKED WHEN T.J. HOOKER DID IT

A man was injured after he jumped on the roof of his car — to try to stop a thief from taking off with it. For the Bossardet family, it’s been a tough couple of days. First, both of their cars were rummaged through — and their spare keys stolen — on Thursday. On Friday, Matthew Bossardet woke up to a thief in his car. He heard a car door slam over a baby monitor and walked outside to find a thief inside his car.

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Boner Candidate #4: HE WAS ARMED WHEN HE ASSAULTED THE OFFICER

An angry customer at a car dealership who used his prosthetic arm to attack a police officer has been charged with assault, authorities say. The incident happened at about noon Saturday at Jim Butler Chevrolet after Joshua Stockinger, 28, returned a rented vehicle he had been using while the dealership was working on his car, according Sgt. Shawn McGuire of the St. Louis County Police Department. Stockinger had threatened employees over the phone before showing up at the dealership, McGuire said.

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Boner Candidate #5: WE WANT YOUR TRUST.

The Utah Transit Authority, now in the midst of a campaign to improve transparency and build public trust, is moving its board committee meetings behind closed doors. UTA recently announced reforms intended to bolster public confidence, including inviting more public comment and making all final decisions in open meetings of the full board.

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Boner Candidate #6: DJ’S ARE SUCH CREATIVE PEOPLE

A DJ’s plan to win the war on drugs in South Africa is to make people break wind. Thabo Mahlare, 37, has called on teenagers to take part in an inaugural competition involving the taboo. He has started the contest because the DJ, also known as ‘Behind Bars’, is so concerned about the level of drug abuse in Pretoria. Participants will be given eggs, castor oil and milk to help them produce the loudest sounds.

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