Boner of the Day

Boner Candidates August 10, 2016

Boner Candidate #1: DERP

Well, that was embarrassing. French fencer Enzo Lefort clearly did not fully think through his decision to keep his phone in his pocket during his bout against Germany’s Peter Joppich at the Olympics. Joppich lunged at Lefort, causing the Frenchman to awkwardly stumble over his feet. This was just the beginning of Lefort’s embarrassment, as his phone fell from his back pocket and slid across the floor. The distracting faux pas was met by resounding boos from the crowd as he picked up his phone and handed it to a man on the sidelines. It appears Lefort was unable to recover from the careless mistake and went on to lose the bout 15-13 to Joppich. All we can say is … gotta catch ‘em all?

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Boner Candidate #2: I’M THINKING THE MAYOR HAS ISSUES

Mayoral meltdown • South Jordan Mayor David Alvord stomped out of a City Council meeting last week because the council won’t let him have a new flag. As he left, he told the members they would have to appoint a mayor pro tem for the rest of the meeting. Alvord has been lobbying for a new design to replace the city’s current flag, which depicts a tree inside of a circle. He raised the idea of staging a contest for a new flag several weeks ago. The council voted it down. He brought it up again Aug. 2, first trying to push the flag proposal ahead of a zoning issue involving the number of horses that can be kept in an area. Council members rejected that motion because residents were there to talk about the horses. When Alvord got his turn, he showed a 20-minute video about the importance of branding. When it was over, the council again rejected the notion, and he bolted out of the room.

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Boner Candidate #3: COME ON YOU SISSIES….JUST WASH IT OFF

A video of a mouse crawling all over vegetables at a Covina supermarket has gone viral, making hundreds of thousands of Facebook viewers cringe. The video was shot in the produce department of the El Super store on Arrow Highway. Some customers said they are very upset. “Now by hearing this, I might end up going somewhere else. I don’t think that’s healthy,” shopper Elissa Melgar said. The Hernandez family had just finished buying produce and other groceries when they heard about the mouse video. “I think that’s pretty gross, and I hope that they clean everything and replace everything because who knows how long that’s been going on,” Melisa Hernandez said. In a statement by El Super, it said it has replaced all produce from the affected area and that it appears to be an “isolated incident.”

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