Boners

Boner Candidates August 8, 2016

Boner Candidate #1: AND IF IT WERE YOUR WIFE OR DAUGHTER?

Marco Rubio has said he doesn’t believe pregnant women infected with the Zika virus should be allowed to get an abortion. The Florida Senator believes all human life is ‘worthy of protection of our laws’ – even if there is a risk the baby could be severely deformed. The former presidential candidate’s controversial comments come just days after his state reported their first suspected cases of the virus. At least 16 people are believe to have been infected in a trendy neighborhood in Miami – the city where avid prolife supporter Rubio was born. On Saturday he told Politico: ‘I understand a lot of people disagree with my view – but I believe that all human life is worthy of protection of our laws. ‘And when you present it in the context of Zika or any prenatal condition, it’s a difficult question and a hard one.

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Boner Candidate #2: IT’S OBVIOUS THE JEWS WERE BEHIND 9-11

The controversial professor at ultra-liberal Oberlin College who sparked a national outcry after posting anti-Semitic rants and bizarre 9/11 conspiracy theories has been booted from the classroom, the school said Wednesday. Joy Karega, an associate professor of rhetoric and composition, was put on paid leave while prestigious Oberlin College considers her future, according to a statement from university president Martin Krislov obtained by The Post. School administrators had reluctantly backed Karega, citing academic freedom concerns, when her conspiratorial, anti-Semitic social media rants were first reported. “I am committed to continuing and completing an equitable review process,” Krislov wrote in an email to students, staff and alumni.

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Boner Candidate #3: OH HILLARY IS SO OLD AND FEEBLE

A number of right-wing websites are circulating an old picture of Hillary Clinton slipping while walking up a flight of stairs to question the Democratic nominee’s health ahead of the election. The photograph, which was taken of Clinton as she slipped at the top of a staircase in South Carolina on February 24, is falsely being presented as some form of proof the 68-year-old is in poor health.   Right-wing blog American Mirror started its conspiracy-theorizing post by stating Clinton’s health should be ‘a major issue of the 2016 campaign’. It then went on to wrongly say the photograph in question is, ‘the latest evidence’, to support its conspiracy – despite the picture being almost seven months old. The blog post was then shared by the Drudge Report, a more well-known right-wing website, along with the headline: ‘Hillary conquers the stairs’.

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