Boners

Boner Candidates for April 08 2016

Boner Candidate #1: THIS IS NOT MY CRACK PIPE. I’M KEEPING IT FOR A FRIEND.

A woman arrested for cocaine possession told Florida jailers that the crack pipe found hidden in her vagina was not her property, but rather she was storing the drug paraphernalia for a friend. Tiffany Flores, 23, was arrested yesterday afternoon following a traffic stop in Fellsmere, a city just north of Vero Beach (where Flores resides). Flores, a passenger in the vehicle stopped, confessed to ownership of a small bag of cocaine that a cop found on the roadway “directly beside the passenger door frame,”according to an arrest affidavit.

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Boner Candidate #2: THEY CALL ME ZOMBIE MIKE

A man wanted for raping a wheelchair-bound woman may be hiding in Virginia, according to U.S. Marshals. Michael Hawkins, known as Zombie Mike to his friends, raped the mentally-challenged woman in her Schenectady, New York in June 2012, U.S. Marshals said. “Predators like Michael Hawkins who prey on helpless victims must be brought to justice,” U.S. Marshal David McNulty, of the Northern District of New York, said. “We, along with our federal, state and local law enforcement partners, are determined to make sure he’s held accountable, but we need the public’s help.” The alleged attack happened while the woman’s family slept in a nearby room.

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Boner Candidate #3: A MATCH MADE IN HEAVEN

The moment a bride flipped the finger at her new father-in-law was caught on camera sparking a huge family fight in the middle of the wedding reception. The blushing bride – identified only as Lena – is seen in her large white gown when she turns to the camera and raises her middle finger. At first it looks like the gesture is a joke as the woman, from Russia, accompanies it with a cheeky smile and a wink. But her new father-in-law is less than impressed and launches towards her within seconds.

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