Boners

Boner Candidates for March 07 2016

Boner Candidate #1: SHE’S TROUBLE

Tina Vigil is a single mom. She’s currently living with her parents but that’s not where she wants to be living. Last September she moved into the Country Oaks Apartments near Downtown Salt Lake City but, a mere three days after moving in, her landlord told her to get out. “He told me I could not live there anymore,” she said. Tina says her landlord sent her a text message saying, “the police just called,” and told him to be worried because her “son” is violent gang-member. In fact, her son was the alleged trigger-man in a recent shooting. Tina was frustrated but agreed to leave because the landlord promised to “refund” her $700 deposit, also in a text message. He never sent it. Months later, Tina says she’s mad, both at the landlord for keeping her deposit and at the police saying it wasn’t fair for them to approach her landlord and convince him to evict her. “I don’t feel like I did anything wrong,” she said. “I can understand where they’re coming from, where there were concerns, you know, but he didn’t even give me a chance.” Tina’s landlord, a man named Mike Reed, confirmed that the police approached him about Tina. “The police told me to evict her. I evicted her, according to the police department’s directions,” he said. Despite promising a refund in a text message, Reed says doesn’t owe Tina a dime because the rental agreement forbids illegal activity. When Get Gephardt asked to what illegal activity he was referring, Reed insisted we ask the police – and then hung up.

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Boner Candidate #2: AN EASY TARGET

A brother-sister duo is jailed on felony robbery charges in connection with the theft of a cash box from a Girl Scout who was selling cookies outside a Walmart in Florida. Nicholas Delbrugge, 20, and Ashley Winters, 25, were collared last night and booked into the Volusia County jail. Delbrugge, locked up on $150,000 bond, was charged with robbery by sudden snatching, a felony, and petty theft. Winters, facing similar criminal counts, is being held in lieu of $50,000 bond. According to police, the siblings ripped off Lacey Lee, 12, while she was stationed Sunday afternoon outside a Walmart in Deltona. The child told cops that a man and woman approached her table and that, “the female kept asking questions about the cookies.” The man, Lee recalled, “kept staring at the cash box,” which held about $200. After then spending 30 minutes inside Walmart, police report, the duo exited the store. Because of the male suspect’s prior suspicious actions, Lee “held onto the metal cash box,” according to cops. But the man wrested the box from the child and ran off with the cookie sale proceeds, making his getaway in a car driven by his female cohort (who was with a young girl).

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Boner Candidate #3: I THINK THE KID KNOWS WHAT SHE WANTS.

A Texas woman was arrested Saturday for abandonment of a child, after a 3-year-old girl allegedly told police that she was hungry multiple times, and at one point said, “I need a beer,” reports CBS affiliate KOSA. Police were called to Shauna Lee Bennett’s home on a report that her 3-year-old daughter had been left alone. They said the girl was dirty and covered in red bumps. Officers knocked on the door but no one answered. So, officers went inside. “As soon as I entered I was overwhelmed by the filthy state of the apartment,” an officer wrote in a police report”There were piles of dirty and moldy dishes on the counter, stove, and sink,” the police report said. “There was trash on the floor and counter. There were cockroaches absolutely everywhere. The kitchen was in no way sanitary or functional.”The girl repeatedly told officers, “I’m hungry,” and said, “I need a beer,” according to the report.

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