Boner of the Day

Boner Candidates for March 14 2016

Boner Candidate #1: THESE RICE CRISPIES TREATS TASTE FUNNY

A criminal and internal investigation is underway at Kellogg’s after a video surfaced online that appears to show a man filming himself urinating on products on an assembly line. An internal investigation found it was recorded in 2014 at a facility in Memphis, Tennessee, the company said.  It potentially affected Rice Krispies Treats, Rice Krispies Treats cereal and puffed rice cake products — though all would be past their expiration date at this point. The video was uploaded Friday to the site World Star Hip Hop. Kris Charles, a Kellogg’s spokesman, said the company is “outraged by this completely unacceptable situation.”

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Boner Candidate #2: THE DONALD’S ISIS LIES

Despite evidence to the contrary, Donald Trump on Sunday morning repeated his charge that a man who rushed at him in Dayton, Ohio, had ISIS affiliations. The March 12 incident at a Trump rally at the Dayton airport involved Thomas DiMassimo, 22. According to police, DiMassimo jumped a barrier and rushed the stage where Trump was speaking. Secret Service agents tackled him and took him into custody. DiMassimo was charged with inducing panic and disorderly conduct and was released from Montgomery County Jail later the same day. On NBC’s Meet the Press, host Chuck Todd noted that after the Dayton rally, Trump tweeted a video that purportedly showed DiMassimo posing with a gun against the backdrop of an ISIS flag, with Arabic-language music playing in the background. Trump’s tweet said, “USSS (U.S. Secret Service) did an excellent job stopping the maniac running to the stage. He has ties to ISIS. Should be in jail.” The link to the video was appended to the tweet.

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Boner Candidate #3: I’M HERE TO SAVE TAYLOR SWIFT…AND DON’T LIE, I KNOW SHE’S IN THERE.

A Nashville man is behind bars for burglary after trying to force his way into a man’s home because he was there to “save Taylor Swift.” According to the police affidavit, 26-year-old Paul Herrin knocked on the door of a man who happens to be a landlord. Thinking it was someone dropping off a rent check, the homeowner opened the door and found Herrin, who shoved the door open and placed his left foot inside to keep the man from closing the door on him. The homeowner instructed Herrin to leave, but Herrin continued to try and shove the door open, telling the homeowner he was there to “save Taylor Swift, his wife, and that he had every right to search the residence.”

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