Boners

Boner Candidates July 19, 2016

Boner Candidate #1: I COULDN’T FIND NO CAR SEAT

A Pennsylvania mother is accused of stuffing her children, ages 3 and 5, into the trunk of a red Corvette and then driving around town. Hanover Borough police pulled over the two-seat sports car on July 10 after getting a 911 call from a person who saw someone placing two children in the car’s trunk. Authorities say the mother, 29-year-old Jessica Reger, was in the passenger seat. She faces two misdemeanor charges of endangering the welfare of children and recklessly endangering another person. A call seeking comment from her public defender wasn’t immediately returned Monday. The 28-year-old driver, Ilena Blackburn, has also been charged with recklessly endangering another person. No attorney information for her was available in online court documents.

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Boner Candidate #2: MAYBE SHE JUST LIKES MICHELLE

This is very weird. One of the more uplifting sections in Melania Trump’s convention speech tonight is eerily similar to a passage from Michelle Obama’s convention speech in 2008. You can see a video comparison here. The similarity was first pointed out by Jarrett Hill on Twitter. There’s no explanation (yet) for how this happened. CNN reported that Melania Trump had been working with a speechwriter “for the last five to six weeks, honing her speech.” Before the speech, she told NBC’s Matt Lauer”I wrote it…with a little help as possible.”

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Boner Candidate #3: WHEN YOU HAVE AN AGENDA, FACTS BE DAMNED

Republican National Committee chairman Reince Priebus defended the 2016 Republican Party platform ahead of its convention in a July 17 interview with NBC’s Chuck Todd. While the platform isn’t yet in its final form, many observers have said the document so far lands to the right on social issues. Todd asked Priebus about the platform’s position on same-sex marriage. “It’s implying somehow that children of same-sex couples are more likely to be addicts, to engage in crime,” Todd said. “Do you mean to have it imply that?” Priebus replied that it’s possible for children of same-sex parents and single parents to have successful lives, but the best scenario is for children to grow up in a traditional opposite-sex household.

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